


Where I Belong

by hopeneverdies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming Out, Environmentalism, Explicit Language, Famous Louis, Fluff, M/M, Non-Famous Harry, Past physical abuse, a little smut, past rape (implied), ptsd (more implied than really mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-24 14:05:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12014331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeneverdies/pseuds/hopeneverdies
Summary: Harry Styles is an introverted director of a small nature reserve in Norfolk County, England.  Louis Tomlinson is an Emmy winning wildlife documentary filmmaker with a bad boy reputation.  When Louis arrives at Harry's reserve in search of a new project, and a new path in life, Harry is less than thrilled.  Yet, the two men realize that working together may benefit them both, especially when the future of the reserve is threatened by a large corporation and its powerful CEO.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taggiecb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taggiecb/gifts).



> So, this story is a pinch hit, and it's really late. I apologize for that, but I wanted to do this lovely prompt justice. Honestly, this fic probably would've been twice as long if I had another month or so to write it.
> 
> For taggiecb: I'm a fan of your writing, so I was thrilled to get to write this for you! I hope it at least somewhat lives up to your expectations when you wrote the prompt.
> 
> Thanks especially to [kassio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kassio/pseuds/kassio) !! I appreciate all of the help and advice so much! Go check out her Larry fics everybody! You won't regret it!
> 
> Trigger Warning: There is mention of past physical abuse and past rape is implied. If this is a trigger for you please don't read this or read with caution!! It's only in one chapter and I will post a second warning with that specific chapter as well.
> 
> Fic title inspired by the song [Where I Belong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xTWMGe_Zbc) by Bad Company (it's an oldie but a goodie).

May was supposed to feel comfortable in the county of Norfolk, not like the inner circle of Hell itself. Harry, despite having his shoulder-length curly hair pulled up into a bun to keep himself cooler, wiped the sweat beads from his forehead with his arm as he continued tracking a female red squirrel who had recently given birth to triplets. He examined the scratch marks on an oak tree before he froze at the sound of voices approaching from the marked trail behind him.

 

“Well, it’s no Serengeti, but I suppose it will do for the time being,” someone said. Harry thought the voice sounded familiar but couldn’t quite place it.

 

“Our reserve is home to hundreds of animal and insect species.” The second voice definitely belonged to Liam Payne. He was the Communications Director of their reserve, the Norfolk Wildlife Reserve, on weekdays and then worked at his family’s long-time candy shoppe, in the nearby village of Fallham, on weekends. Liam often gave guided tours for special guests or large groups visiting the reserve. Harry was lucky to call him one of his best mates. He always gave 110 percent while working at both places. In fact, he pretty much put that much effort into everything in his life. “We specialize in building healthy habitats for endangered species in the United Kingdom. We’re very proud of what we do here.”

 

“I bet,” the mystery man answered. Harry wasn’t sure if he had correctly detected a hint of sarcasm in the man’s voice or not, but he definitely wasn’t detecting enthusiasm. He stepped out of the brush and onto the path, so that both men could see him.

 

“Oh!” Liam startled a bit. “This is our esteemed director, Harry Styles.” Harry, for the first time, got a good look at the stranger and realized he wasn’t a stranger at all. He had seen that face all over his television, as well as all over the tabloids for the past decade (not that Harry was much of a tabloid reader). “Harry, this is Louis Tomlinson, the Emmy award winning documentary maker.”

 

Louis Tomlinson. The man who shot to fame at the age of eighteen when he and his family were aboard a cruise ship that caught fire in the Mediterranean Sea and he videotaped the panicked passengers, the removal to lifeboats, and eventually the rescue by the Italian coast guard. He never lost his cool and narrated the entire event, later selling the footage to television news outlets around the globe, many of whom also interviewed the charming young British lad. Louis Tomlinson. The man who a year later filmed a documentary of himself scuba diving in shark-infested waters off the coast of Florida, earning him even more notoriety. Louis Tomlinson. The man who at twenty-one years old was given the funds to explore the Australian Outback for the Discovery Channel in an eight-part miniseries for the network. Louis Tomlinson. The man who at twenty-four won an Emmy for a two-part PBS series filmed in the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania, where he lived among lions, hyenas, giraffes, zebras, and wildebeest for six months. That series was followed by several other nature themed television and web series.

 

Louis Tomlinson. The man known for being an adrenaline junky; an uneducated thrill seeker, willing to risk his life for the most dramatic camera angle. Louis Tomlinson. The man known for doing all of his own camera work and narration while only employing one knowledgeable guide to assist him if needed. The ‘bad boy’ of his profession, known as much for his potty mouth as for his excellent narration skills. Louis Tomlinson. The man also known for being an attention seeker, a loud party boy, an unapologetic lothario. When he wasn’t on location he was partying hard at clubs all over the world, often with a woman or two on his arm. He never took life seriously, something Harry honestly couldn’t relate to at all and found irresponsible. Louis Tomlinson. The man who was now standing right in front of him with an outstretched hand.

 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Styles,” Louis said, as they shook hands. _At least he understands formality_.

 

“Likewise, Mr. Tomlinson,” Harry replied. “I’ve watched much of your work. Always—” He paused for a moment, trying to come up with the right word. “Intriguing.”

 

“Thank you,” the other man smiled. “Please call me Louis.” He was dressed in a plain white t-shirt, cut-off jean shorts, blue Adidas trainers with no socks, and a pair of Aviator sunglasses on top of his head, holding back his dark fringe. It was definitely not the most professional look, unlike the khaki colored button down shirt Harry was wearing with the reserve’s symbol on the pocket, along with darker brown pants and work boots. Harry wondered why a famous documentarian would want to tour his small nature reserve in eastern England. He had never viewed Louis Tomlinson as a man who really cared all that much for the natural habitats and animal species he filmed, but more for the attention and money those things brought him.

 

“So— um—what brings you to our home?” Harry asked quietly. He wasn’t particularly comfortable communicating with strangers. It never came naturally to him. That’s part of the reason he hired Liam two years earlier. Harry wasn’t sure Liam even understood the concept of a stranger, because he made friends with almost everyone he ever met.

 

“I’m checking out different reserves around the United Kingdom in hopes of finding my next big project.”

 

“Oh.” Harry frowned. “Our reserve is relatively small in comparison to many others. I’m not sure if it’s really the sort of thing that will bring about the excitement you’re probably looking for with your project.”

 

“That’s okay,” the other man answered, the sun glinting off his bright blue eyes. “I would still like to spend a few days exploring it if you don’t mind?”

 

Harry shook his head. “No, by all means, explore away.” His gaze dropped to the ground as he smiled.

 

“Okay, great!”

 

“Um, why don’t Liam and I introduce you to the rest of the staff?” Harry suggested after a moment of awkward silence filled the air between the three men. “If you have any questions I’m sure one of us will have the answer.”

 

Louis nodded and it only took a few minutes before they reached two of Harry’s employees who were pointing to a patch of nearby wildflowers as they conversed. They both stood up and noticed the celebrity guest right away.

 

“This is Zayn Malik,” Harry stated. Zayn reached out to shake Louis’ hand. “He’s our lepidopterist.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis responded, clearly confused. “Lepid-what?”

 

Zayn laughed. “Lepidopterist. I study butterflies and moths professionally.”

 

“Oh,” the documentarian replied.

 

“Zayn’s job here is to help assure a healthy habitat for the reproduction of butterflies, especially the tortoiseshell butterflies who are an endangered species,” Liam explained with a quick wink in Zayn’s direction. “Our reserve has the largest number of these butterflies in all of England, but the overall number are dropping rapidly.”

 

“And who is this beautiful lady behind you?” Louis asked with a smile.

 

“I’m Gemma,” she answered politely. Harry watched the pink rise to her cheeks. “I’ve watched all of your documentaries, Mr. Tomlinson. I especially loved the one where you followed the pride of lions and their cubs.”

 

“Please call me Louis, love,” Louis answered, flashing a toothy smile toward the woman.

 

 _Oh my god! Are they flirting? They’re flirting! I’m going to murder him_. Harry fisted his hands at his side.

 

“Gemma forgot to mention that she’s Harry’s sister,” Zayn added quickly, clearly recognizing the tension in Harry’s body.

 

Louis looked from sister to brother. “Ah, I see the resemblance, yeah? What’s it like working for your sibling?”

 

“I love it,” Gemma answered honestly, “but I’m older so I get my way most of the time.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Gem is our botanist. She works hard to make sure that we have the right combination of plants, flowers, trees, and grasses for our animals and insects to thrive. She’s been working closely with Zayn on the butterfly habitat in particular.”

 

Louis nodded. “You sound like a smart lady, Miss Styles,” he smiled. “I like that and could only hope my own sisters grow up with the same passion for something as worthwhile as your work.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson.” Gemma blushed. “I mean Louis.”

 

Harry resisted the urge to vomit in the nearby purple orchids. “Okay, so how about we let these two get back to work.” He reached for Liam’s forearm and started leading them down the path toward the buildings on the west edge of the reserve.

 

“Nice to meet you both,” Louis called back and waved to Gemma and Zayn as he hurried to catch up to Harry and Liam.

 

Liam continued to inform Louis about the various plants and animals as they walked and Harry could feel a mild headache start to form in the back of his skull. He pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and slid them on, even though they were only two minutes from their destination.

 

Once they reached the first of three buildings on the west end of the property, they stepped inside and were met with a blast of air conditioning, a rare luxury in England. Harry led them down a hallway to the back of the building where they found a man and a woman obviously taking a lunch break.  
Harry cleared his throat and the pair both snapped their necks quickly to look at the three men in the doorway.

 

“Sorry to interrupt your break,” Harry apologized, “but we have a special guest I’d like you both to meet.” He stepped into the room and the other men followed. “I’d like you both to meet Louis Tomlinson, who makes wildlife documentaries and has won awards and stuff.” Harry could hear Liam holding back a chuckle at Harry’s inarticulate introduction.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson, these are our two veterinarians, Jeff and Glenne.”

 

The documentarian muttered salutations as he shook Jeff’s hand and followed by kissing Glenne’s cheek. Harry wondered if he flirted with every woman he ever met, and Harry’s eyes met Jeff’s own uneasy ones. The pair of veterinarians had been dating one another since their undergrad years of university and Louis wouldn’t know what he was getting into if he ever tried to proposition Glenne. Harry knew that Jeff had been looking at engagement rings recently and everyone who knew the couple couldn’t believe they hadn’t already been married for years.

 

“Glenne specializes in the treatment of birds,” Liam informed Louis. “Jeff is the one we go to if any of the other animals get hurt or sick.”

 

They chatted for a few minutes, Louis entertaining Glenne with a story about an injured eagle he encountered in Tanzania, before Jeff and Glenne returned to their meal and the other three men strolled over to the next building.

 

“This is the administration building,” Harry informed as the door closed behind them. They stepped into a fairly large room.

 

“This is Cora, our administrative assistant,” he waved his hand in the direction of the fifty-something year old woman sitting behind a desk on the right side of the room. The short round woman had her salt-and-pepper hair pulled up into a loose bun and wore khaki pants and a bright pink polo shirt with the reserve’s logo on it as she chatted animatedly on the phone. She didn’t seem to notice the men so Harry led them down a corridor.

 

“This is where our offices are located. The first two on the left belong to Zayn and Gemma. The first one on the right is shared by Jeff and Glenne. The next one on that side is Liam’s, and the one all the way at the back is my office. They’re pretty small and cramped but we spend a lot of time outside anyway, so it works out okay.”

 

Louis nodded as he glanced at the name plates on the outside of each closed door.

 

“If you can’t find one of us outdoors, you can probably find us here,” Liam informed him.

 

“And this is where I’ll be taking my leave,” Harry added. “I have some paperwork to do. Liam will show you around the rest of the reserve. If you have any questions or need anything just let me know.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Styles,” Louis answered. “I would like to bring my camera with me tomorrow if you don’t mind my taking some video and pictures?”

 

“That’s fine,” Harry reassured. “Liam could go along with you as long as he doesn’t have anything else scheduled.”

 

“I have one tour in the early afternoon, but my morning is free,” Liam responded.

 

“Thanks for the offer,” Louis replied beaming with self confidence, “but I think I’ll be just fine by myself.”

 

“Okay,” Harry answered slowly. “I’ll see you around then?”

 

“No doubt you will.”

 

Liam and Louis both said goodbye to Harry a moment later and left him standing alone in the corridor. He made his way to his office where a pile of unopened mail sat atop his desk. He sat down in the old black leather chair which had seen many more days than Harry had inside the room. Harry had been named director of the reserve when his mentor, Dr. Eugene Gregory, had retired due to illness three years earlier. He had been only twenty-five at the time, still finishing graduate school, and along with Zayn was serving the reserve as an unpaid intern. The council in charge of appointing the directors of each reserve in the UK, made up mostly of government officials, had asked Dr. Gregory for suggestions on who to replace him, and he had shockingly chosen Harry. The board agreed and suddenly Harry was thrust into a whole new world of responsibility. He had always been a responsible person, mature beyond his years; however, the new position meant frequently having to interact with other people, often powerful people, and that was something he wasn’t necessarily ready for. Although inherently shy, past encounters had made him even more introverted, and throughout his life he felt more of a bond with nature than he did with people, therefore, going from specialized work with endangered species to becoming somewhat a businessman was a difficult adjustment, one he still hadn’t gotten fully used to after three years.

 

He looked through the mail, most of which was junk, and placed the few important pieces in a small pile while throwing the rest in the small metal bin on the floor to his left. There were only three envelopes left on his desk. The first was a request for a class of young schoolchildren to take a tour of the reserve. The second was information declaring the condition of the septic system beneath the public restrooms to be up-to-standard. The third envelope had been sitting on his desk for nearly a week, much to Harry’s dismay. He had used every excuse in his own mind to keep from opening it, but he knew he couldn’t avoid it forever. So he took a deep breath and slid a finger underneath the crease, tearing the seal. He pulled out a folded piece of paper, opened it and began to silently read:

 

_Dear Mr. Styles,_

 

_Cowell Corporation have actively sought land near the Norfolk Wildlife Reserve over the past two years in hopes of expanding the manufacturing of pesticides for use by farmers and the general public. We are aware of your resistance to our expansion and would like to meet with you to discuss ways our corporation can work with your reserve in the future._

 

_We have also recently been informed that the reserve is running on a large deficit, indicating lack of public support. This deficit allows Cowell Corporation to request from Parliament that the Wildlife Trust for Norfolk Wildlife Reserve be withdrawn, leading to the possible closure of the reserve. Please contact Cowell Corporation at the number below within 30 days or we will be forced to take further action against you and the reserve._

 

_Sincerely,_

 

 _Clara Frost_  
_VP of Development_  
_Cowell Corporation_

 

Harry stared at the words for a few moments before he crumpled up the paper until it formed into a ball and he tossed it across the room. He buried his face in his hands, elbows propped on the desk, and silently prayed for a miracle. People. He disliked so many of them, all caught up in themselves and their money, their lives of luxury, their yachts, their mansions, and their lovers, never stopping to think about the mark they were leaving on the future of the planet. People like Clara Frost, like Louis Tomlinson, were just two of those kind.

 

He had worked too damn hard, they all had, to make the reserve a sanctuary for so many unique and special creatures to see it all taken away without a second thought for the impact of such an action. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to punch something, wanted to seek out his mum for a hug, but instead he knew he had to keep his cool. _Don’t look suspicious_ , he told himself, as he pulled himself together, exited his office, and headed down the trail to find the mother squirrel and her three babies again. He wasn’t sure if he could save the reserve in the future, but he knew he could help in the here and now, and staying in the present was the only thing that would help him keep his sanity.

 

*************

 

Louis collapsed backward onto the bed, only a white towel wrapped around his waist. A cool shower always felt like the best therapy for a long day in the hot sun and now Louis felt clean and relaxed—and bored. He felt the nudge of a small head against his hand and he couldn’t help but smile. The nudge was followed by a loud purring sound.

 

“Did you miss me, love?” He asked the small black cat, who at the sound of Louis’ voice turned its head toward him, its yellow eyes focused on his own blue ones. He petted its head gently and the feline let out a tiny meow. “I missed you too,” Louis responded to the kitten’s voice.

 

Luna was only five months old, not yet full grown, and was the first pet Louis could ever call his own. Growing up, his family had an occasional dog or cat, but they never really belonged to him. For the last ten years he had been traveling too much to even take care of himself, let alone an animal. It was a shame, really. There had been more times than he could count where he could have used the company of one.

 

He looked around at the small room. It wasn’t much, no bigger than a low-rate motel room. It had a fairly comfortable double sized bed, a small television on top of a desk, a quaint wardrobe, a mini-fridge, an old looking tan colored armchair near the one window that overlooked the street below, and a tiny bathroom with a toilet, pedestal sink and a shower. He was used to luxury when it came to indoor living spaces. Lavish rooms with king sized poster beds, oversized bathrooms, balconies overlooking the ocean or the mountains, and 24-hour room service were the norm. Yet, even this hole-in-the-wall over Potter’s Pub in this sleepy village of Fallham was better than the hundreds of nights he’d spent sleeping in a tent or in a makeshift hammock while filming his many documentaries. The lack of sleep had been worth it, however, as it provided him with a mansion just south of London and a huge penthouse in Manhattan. Not to mention, his family were set for life thanks to his talent with a video camera.

 

Still, Louis liked attention. He liked to stay busy and he had a feeling that Fallham didn’t boast many attractions for his restless soul. So, pulling on some black skinny jeans, a gray vintage Aerosmith shirt and black Vans, he decided the only thing he could do was try mingling with the locals. Perhaps they could fill him in on the most happening spots nearby.

 

The pub below his room was fairly small, but not dingy. Both the inside and outside interior walls were a red colored brick. The tables were a mix of rectangle and circle shapes, black in color, and the chairs were black and kelly green with silver legs. The bar stools at the bar matched the chairs but were taller. Irish themed memorabilia could be found on each wall and in every corner of the establishment. Louis thought the Irish theme was odd considering Potter was a very English last name and the bar was nowhere near Ireland.

 

It wasn’t busy, but Louis figured that Tuesday nights were one of the least likely nights of the week for people to go out and drink and it was past dinner time for most. There was a couple sitting at one table near the front windows, sharing a basket of fish and chips. At another table, not far from the bar, were four men all dressed in suits, their jackets hanging neatly on the back of each chair, as they chatted over their beers. He guessed they were bankers or perhaps accountants because their suits were certainly not expensive enough for them to be attorneys or wealthy businessmen. A raven-haired waitress, dressed in tight black jeans and a green polo shirt, was busy wiping down the empty tables. Then behind the bar was a brunette man with frosted blonde tips and an easy smile. He was watching a football game on the telly mounted at the back of the bar above the liquor.

 

Louis took a seat on the center bar stool and cleared his throat so the bartender would take notice. The man quickly turned at the sound.

 

“Good evening, Mr. Tomlinson!” the bartender responded with an obviously Irish brogue. “Lilah told me you checked into one of the rooms upstairs this afternoon. It’s lovely to have you here! What brings you to our tiny village?”

 

Louis couldn’t help but crack a smile at the Irishman who looked to be near his own age. Something about the man’s happy nature felt very contagious. “Work,” he answered. “I’m in search of a new subject for my next documentary.”

 

The bartender nodded. “I’m Niall Horan, the owner of this lil’ establishment, and if you need help with anything just let me know. Now, can I get you a drink, or somethin’ to eat?”

 

“Chips and a beer, and please call me Louis.”

 

“Alright, chips and a beer coming right up, Louis.” Niall answered, before yelling an order out for chips toward the kitchen. A moment later, an ice cold bottle was placed in front of Louis on the counter.

 

“So, Niall,” Louis started, “how does an Irishman end up owning a pub in the middle of bloody nowhere England? Not to mention one that boasts an English name?”

 

Niall laughed. “If you want me personal information, you’ll have to buy more than just a basket of chips and a beer.”

 

“Okay then,” Louis smiled, already charmed by the man standing in front of him, “I’ll take two shots of your best whiskey if you promise to answer my question.”

 

“I don’t know, Tomlinson,” Niall answered, raising one eyebrow, “you look a bit like a lightweight to me. Sure you can handle that much alcohol?”

 

Louis put on his best game face. “I most certainly can. I’m from Yorkshire, mate. I’m not a Southern Softie ya know. Besides, if I pass out you can just carry me up to me room.”

 

Niall let out a hearty laugh and pulled the shot glasses from below the bar. Louis liked his laugh very much. “Not bloody likely.”

 

The glasses were filled and Louis threw the first one back. It burned as it went down his throat and he made a sour face, but it didn’t deter him from knocking the second one back just as quickly as the first.

 

“Impressive,” Niall mused.

 

“Thanks, mate,” Louis responded. “Now, it’s your turn. Tell me how you ended up owning this lovely establishment and how it has an English name even though it’s clearly Irish themed.”

 

Niall smiled. “My estranged wife is how I ended up here.”

 

Louis raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 

“I left Ireland to go to uni in London,” Niall continued. “My second year I met this beautiful brunette with chocolate brown eyes in economics class and fell in love immediately. Her name was Gillian Potter. It took me months to get Gilly to go out on a date with me, but once she agreed, we were inseparable for the next two years. The night we both graduated from uni, we sat on the roof of her flat, a blanket wrapped around us, and I asked her to marry me. I hadn’t planned it beforehand. It just sort of happened. We eloped two weeks later and she convinced me that it would be a great idea to move to her hometown.”

 

“Her hometown being _here_ ,” Louis concluded.

 

Niall nodded. “We moved here and I had a business degree but no place to use it. Gilly’s dad owned the pub then and he hired me to tend bar. Gilly worked at the coffee shop two doors down and we lived in the attic of her parents’ home. A year after we married her father fell ill with a heart condition. It turned out her mum had been having an affair with the dentist she worked for and they ran off to France together. Gilly took care of her dad while I managed the pub. For eight long months, that was the routine, until her father passed away from a stroke. He left everything to Gilly and me, but Gilly didn’t want it and one morning two years ago I woke up to a letter left on her pillow. Said she wasn’t in love with me anymore. So she left me and went God knows where and I kept the pub. A few months back I changed the theme to an Irish theme, but I kept the Potter name out of respect for her dad, who was a good man.”

 

“Why didn’t you just sell the pub and move back home?”

 

“I don’t know,” Niall chuckled. “I guess I kind of like it here. The people are friendly. Everybody knows everybody, and there’s only one other bar in town and I’d hate to force anyone to have to go to that grungy pit.”

 

“Speaking of everybody knowing everybody,” Louis changed the subject. “What do you know about Harry Styles?”

 

“The director bloke at the reserve?” Niall asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“That’s him,” Louis confirmed.

 

“Nice lad,” Niall answered honestly. “He comes in maybe once or twice a month with some mates. He’s quiet, keeps to himself mostly, but is friendly if spoken to.”

 

“Thanks for the info.” Louis dipped a chip in some ketchup and then shoved it not-so-gracefully into his mouth.

 

“I think it’s honorable what Harry and the others are doing at the reserve,” Niall added. “They work hard for very little recognition.”

 

Louis nodded, his thoughts still stuck on the curly haired man with the green eyes he’d met earlier that day. There was something about him that Louis felt drawn to, as if he needed to know more. He wasn’t Louis’ type generally, but maybe what Louis actually needed was something different. Maybe what the something different he needed was a friend, not a lover. Wasn’t that need for something different what had driven him back to England in the first place?


	2. Chapter 2

A knock sounded on the door.

 

“Hey baby bro,” he heard before he even had a chance to look up from the paperwork on his desk.

 

“Hey Gems. What’s up?”

 

“I just wanted to remind you that I’m taking Thursday and Friday off so I can go to Liverpool for Eliza’s wedding,” Gemma explained as she took a couple steps into her brother’s office.

 

“Of course,” Harry answered. “Thanks for reminding me though.”

 

“You okay?”

 

Harry scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m fine.” He knew his tone wasn’t convincing.

 

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked quietly, a concerned look in her eyes.

 

Harry shook his head, his long curls bouncing against his neck. “Not really. I just want you to go to Liverpool and have fun this weekend.”

 

Gemma still didn’t look convinced. “You sure?”

 

“Yes!” Harry exclaimed. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet the man of your dreams at the wedding.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Gemma replied while rolling her eyes. She turned and marched out of the office with just a quick wave of her hand, yet Harry could see the slightest glimpse of a smile as she gave a quick glance back before continuing down the hallway.

 

An hour later Harry was outside amongst nature, his favorite place to be, once again in search of the mother red squirrel and her three-week-old babies. He was concerned by how frequently she was moving them around at such a young age. The number of red squirrels in the United Kingdom was decreasing rapidly mostly due to the growing number of North American gray squirrels that had been introduced to Europe years earlier. He knew that the infants had less than a fifty percent chance of surviving to adulthood, even within the reserve where they were secluded from the danger of domesticated cats, high traffic roads, and outbreaks of squirrel poxvirus, so he was making it his duty to keep an eye on the squirrel family so he could inform Jeff or Glenne as soon as possible if medical intervention would be needed.

 

Finally, after what seemed like hours searching, he spotted mummy squirrel out of the corner of his eye, gnawing on some fungi at the bottom of a group of pine trees. She was easily identifiable due to the small patch of gray fur on the back of her head. He watched in silence from a distance as she gathered some seeds from the ground, although Harry was almost certain she was aware of his presence. It wasn’t unusual for creatures in the reserve to develop some trust toward the humans working around them. It was almost as if they knew that those humans were there to help them, not hurt them, and they appreciated it as much as any non-human animal can appreciate things. Eventually the squirrel scampered over to a nearby elm tree and climbed a third of the way up before she stopped and Harry saw in a v-shaped wedge the new nest and the three babes, all looking spirited and healthy as best he could tell.

 

“Take care of them, mummy,” Harry whispered with a smile. He watched a few minutes more before making his way back to the marked trail where he meandered slowly toward the office building. Zayn met him halfway there.

 

“Haz, I think we need to talk.” His voice was urgent yet still controlled.

 

“Talk about what?” Harry stopped walking and stood still, the two men facing one another.

 

“I just took a phone call that was for you,” Zayn continued slowly. “From the Cowell Corporation.”

 

Harry looked at the dirt below his feet and swallowed. He couldn’t find the words to respond to his co-worker and best mate.

 

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder as Zayn took a step toward him. “Haz, when were you going to tell us that the reserve is at risk of being shut down?”

 

Harry kicked at the dirt with the toe of his boot for a moment before answering. “I don’t know, honestly.” He wanted to turn around and run away from the thickness of the air between them. “I was sort of hoping if I ignored the problem it would just disappear, I guess.”

 

Zayn sighed. “I know you don’t like confrontation. I don’t either, probably less than you in fact, but we have to take care of this if we’re going to save this place.”

 

“ _We_?” Harry raised an eyebrow at the other man.

 

“Yes,” Zayn informed. “We. It belongs to all of us who work or volunteer here, to the plants and animals that reside here, to the people of England.”

 

Harry felt some wetness form behind his green eyes at Zayn’s mini-speech. “Okay, so what do you propose I do, Zayn? We’ve been operating at a deficit for years because the donations just aren’t coming in and Cowell Corporation is a powerful entity. We’re like a small twig under their feet that they could just snap in half with one step.”

 

“I don’t know,” Zayn admitted, “but there has to be something we can do.”

 

“It’s not like you couldn’t find another better paying job elsewhere.” Harry’s voice was barely above a whisper. He didn’t want to lose this place. He didn’t want to say goodbye to his best mate, but he was barely paying Zayn a living wage as it was, and he knew there were things Zayn was waiting to do for when he could afford them. He’d probably never be able to afford such things if he stayed at the reserve. Maybe letting Cowell Corp. destroy it would force them all to move on, instead of trying to save a money pit.

 

Zayn’s look was incredulous. “H, I don’t want to work anywhere else, you know that, and I know you don’t want this place to be destroyed. Fuck, you love these plants and animals more than you love most people.”

 

He wasn’t wrong. Harry found most people to be barely tolerable at best and he was shit at communicating so that had never helped him. Early on in his life, he fell in love with nature and found that he had a natural indisputable bond with the creatures of the fields and forests. He had only felt that type of bond with a human once before, his first year at university, and the only thing he got out of it was deep scars, painful memories, and a notebook full of half-written songs about them.

 

Harry looked up and met Zayn’s brown eyes. All he could do was shrug, because the more he thought about the situation at hand the more it felt hopeless to him.

 

“We’ll figure something out, Haz,” was his best mate’s answer with a forced smile. “Give me a couple days to think about it, and you need to schedule a meeting with someone at Cowell Corporation.”

 

Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Zayn shook his head before the words could come out.

 

“Keep your mouth shut and do what I say.” Zayn tried to sound serious but the smile at the corner of his lips gave him away.

 

Harry couldn’t help but smile too. “Hey, I’m _your_ boss, remember!”

 

Zayn laughed. “Yeah, but we both know I’m smarter.”

 

Harry gasped, mocking the claim. “Just wait, Malik, one of these days you’ll regret that statement. Just know that I have more power than you and I’m not afraid to use it.”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes, but gave Harry’s shoulder a couple pats before saying goodbye and continuing down the trail away from the offices.

 

Harry, suddenly alone, took the opportunity to venture out into the woods, away from the marked trails and toward the southern edge of the property. He was in search of nothing in particular, yet he found himself wandering near the river where ducks were gathered at the water’s edge. Lost in thought, he didn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps until he was pulled out of his brain by the shutter of a camera. Turning on one heel, he was immediately staring into a giant lens and on the other side was clearly the forehead and dark hair of what could only be one particular individual.

 

“Did you take a picture of me?” Harry asked, voice full of suspicion.

 

Louis lowered the camera to the front of his chest. “Maybe,” he grinned. His blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight that shone down through the trees, brighter than even the impressive blue sky overhead. “I was aiming for the ducks at first but then you kind of slipped into the frame, so I thought why the hell not?” He winked and Harry felt a small flutter inside his belly, which was ridiculous, he thought to himself. This was the same man that had flirted mercilessly with Gemma only the day before, but dammit, no one could deny he was hot, not even Harry who rarely found himself physically attracted to anyone.

 

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment or two, before Harry pulled himself together long enough to reply. “So, uh, are you enjoying your day at the reserve?”

 

Louis smiled, and fuck if it wasn’t the most genuinely beautiful smile Harry had ever laid eyes upon. “I am. Thanks,” the documentarian answered. “I spent the morning exploring this place with Liam, ate lunch with your sister, and then came out here to take some photographs by meself.”

 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your time here,” Harry responded, still a little bit lost in the other man’s facial features, before what was said really hit him. “Wait, did you say that you had lunch with my sister?”

 

Louis chuckled. “I did.”

 

Harry wanted to run off and warn Gemma. Surely she knew about the rumors of Louis’ womanizing ways. He didn’t want her to fall victim to someone who would use her and spit her out as if nothing had happened between them, but he also knew that she was stubborn enough not to listen to him if he tried to warn her beforehand. “I—uh,” Harry tried to vocalize his thoughts, but the words just wouldn’t come.

 

“Relax! I’m not interested in her in _that_ way,” Louis answered, having read Harry like a book. “She’s lovely, though, and we had a pleasant conversation, nothing more.”

 

“Oh,” was the only word Harry could muster up. He wasn’t sure if he felt offended on Gemma’s behalf or relieved for his own sake.

 

“So, I’m pretty much done for today,” Louis admitted, obviously uncomfortable with Harry’s awkwardness. “I’m just going to head back to me car, I think.”

 

Harry nodded, still tongue-tied. As he watched Louis walk away, he managed to spit out, “Be careful driving back to town,” immediately regretting it afterward.

 

Louis turned back to gaze at him, a strange look crossed his face. Harry felt like he should just hold a big ‘L’ up on his forehead with his hand, because he was clearly the biggest loser on the planet.

 

“I will,” Louis answered, a hint of laughter in his voice. “See you tomorrow.”

 

“Fucking idiot,” Harry murmured to himself as soon as Louis was out of sight. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse.

 

***************

 

“Beer?”

 

Louis nodded as he sat down on the stool.

 

“How was your day?” Niall asked, after handing a bottle to Louis. He busied himself wiping down the top of the bar with a flannel.

 

“Not bad, actually,” Louis answered. “Spent it taking photos at the reserve. Got some nice shots.”

 

“It’s a lovely place, innit?” Niall smiled. “Been there a few times meself.”

 

“Yeah, it is.”

 

Niall left to serve a few other patrons before coming back to Louis and nudging him in the arm. “Just so ya know, that bird over there near the door has been staring you down since you walked in. Bet if you sent a drink over you could get lucky tonight.”

 

Louis didn’t even bother a glance over his shoulder. She wasn’t his type. He didn’t even need to look. “No thanks, mate. I’m not looking to hook up.”

 

“Oh, sorry,” Niall apologized, clearly embarrassed.

 

“Nah, bro, don’t worry about it.” Louis squeezed Niall’s forearm before finally glancing toward the aforementioned woman. She was pretty with long blonde hair, well bottle blonde truthfully, and bright blue eyes. Their eyes met briefly and she smiled. Louis turned back around quickly hoping she wouldn’t think he was interested. “She’s hot. Maybe you should get to know her,” he suggested to Niall. “You’re a handsome lad.”

 

Niall blushed and looked down at his own feet. “That would be rather unprofessional of me, yeah?”

 

Louis laughed. “Who cares! Life’s too short to worry about being ‘professional!’” He made quotations with his fingers. “Do you think Donald Trump got his business empire and became president of the United States by always being ‘professional?’”

 

“Not the best example, Tommo.”

 

“Fair point,” Louis admitted before doing a double take. “Did you just call me _Tommo_?”

 

Niall grinned. “Everyone gets a nickname that frequents my pub.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“I’ve only been here twice y’know.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, that hardly equals frequenting your pub.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. It’s my pub and my decision and I decided to nickname you Tommo.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes in defeat, but he could hardly hide the smile threatening to break out on his face. “And what do your patrons call you?”

 

“Niall,” the pub owner slyly answered. “Just Niall.” With that he was gone, pushing through the swinging doors to the kitchen. Louis drank his beer in silence, contemplating whether he should order some fish and chips too.

 

Ten minutes later, he was pulled from his own daydreams by the sound of a loud yet familiar voice.

 

“Nialler!”

 

He watched as Niall turned around, his face lighting up at the greeting.

 

“Payno!” Niall shouted back from behind the bar. “It’s been too long, mate! Like two weeks, yeah?”

 

“ _Nialler_ ,” Louis mouthed to himself. Bloody liar! Louis turned slightly to watch the other man approaching, only to realize it was Liam from the reserve. Liam and Niall shared a fist bump before Liam took notice of Louis sitting at the bar.

 

“Hey, Louis!” Liam called out excitedly. “Didn’t expect to find you here.”

 

“He’s staying in one of the rooms upstairs,” Niall informed the other man.

 

“Oh?” Liam responded, likely surprised to see someone famous staying somewhere so plain.

 

“Yes, I am,” Louis said. “It’s been lovely.”

 

“Is Z here?” Niall asked Liam. “I haven’t seen him in forever.”

 

“Of course! He’s over in the corner.” Liam pointed behind him with his thumb. “Louis, why don’t you come sit with us.”

 

Louis nodded, still a little confused by the conversation.

 

“Nialler, two orders of hot wings, a basket of chips, and two beers please,” Liam ordered.

 

“I’ll take an order of wings and chips too, _Nialler_ ,” Louis added, placing extra emphasis on the nickname.

 

Niall grimaced at Louis. “You haven’t known me long enough to call me that.”

 

“If you can call me Tommo, I can call you Nialler,” Louis stated matter-of-factly.

 

Niall shook his head. “It’s my pub, mate. My rules.”

 

Liam laughed at the two and motioned for Louis to follow him to a table toward the back. Louis gave Niall the middle finger behind his back as he walked away and the sound of the Irishman’s boisterous laughter indicated that he didn’t miss the gesture.

 

It only took Louis a moment to realize that ‘Z’ was Niall’s nickname for Zayn, which came as a nice surprise. Liam took the chair next to Zayn and Louis sat across from them.

 

“Louis, it’s nice to see you again,” Zayn greeted with a handshake.

 

“You too,” Louis responded. “I’m surprised I didn’t see you today at the reserve.”

 

“I was in my office most of the day, actually. I’m doing some research on tortoiseshell butterflies. I’m hoping to publish my findings in an academic journal sometime next year, so I’m unfortunately not always outside with nature.”

 

“Sounds...boring.”

 

“It’s not boring,” Liam argued. Louis took notice that his eyes were set on Zayn’s face, despite his response being to Louis. “Zayn is a bloody genius. He takes pride in his research.”

 

Zayn looked down at the table bashfully.

 

“Sorry,” Louis apologized. “I didn’t mean to offend. I’m just not the sit-in-the-office-all-day type of person. I like to be where the action is. I’m sure Zayn is brilliant at his job.”

 

This seemed to appease Liam who was nodding his head. His brown eyes seemed to be sparkling.

 

“Okay, how about we move on to a different topic,” Zayn suggested, clearly embarrassed by the attention.

 

The threesome chatted for a solid hour, mostly about Louis’ adventures, with Niall joining in for a moment here or there, as they devoured their food and beer. Louis noticed the entire time the way that Liam lit up every time Zayn would look his way. It was rather sweet. Eventually Liam excused himself to use the loo, and Louis couldn’t help but drop Zayn a hint.

 

“So, I hope you don’t get angry with me or anything for saying this, but I think Liam has a _thing_ for you.”

 

Zayn raised an eyebrow. “A what?”

 

Louis’ eyes dropped to his half empty beer bottle on the table. He was a little nervous to broach the subject with a man he barely knew. “A _thing_.”

 

“A _thing_?”

 

“That’s what I said,” Louis answered. “You know, a crush.”

 

Zayn laughed. It was the first time that Louis had witnessed Zayn laughing and it had him chuckling too. “Well, I certainly hope so,” Zayn finally answered.

 

Louis drew his eyebrows together, unsure of what Zayn was implying.

 

Zayn let out another laugh. “He’s my husband,” Zayn clarified, “so I hope he has a ‘thing’ for me.”

 

Louis’ mouth fell open, forming an O shape. “You’re married? Why didn’t you say that when Liam introduced you to me yesterday?”

 

“We generally try to keep work separate from our private life,” the other man answered. “It helps us avoid any weird workplace situations that could lead to problems at home.”

 

“That makes a lot of sense actually,” Louis replied. “I’ve never been able to figure out the whole long-term relationship thing.”

 

“I hadn’t either, until Liam,” Zayn answered.

 

“How long have you been married?”

 

“Just over a year. We’ve been together for nearly four years though.”

 

“So, I assume you both met at the reserve then?” Louis asked.

 

Zayn shook his head. “Actually, we didn’t.” He blushed. “It’s, well, it’s an embarrassing story.”

 

“Tell me!” Louis begged. “You can’t just leave me with a potential story of embarrassment and not finish it!”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes, but continued. “Five years ago I was finishing up my first degree and came out here to intern at the reserve. A few months in, there was a new bloke that started interning too, and I developed quite the crush on him even though I didn’t know if he was into boys or not. It was so bad that I started making two or three trips per week to Payne’s Candy Shoppe to purchase the bloke’s favorite candy, in hopes of wooing him.” Zayn paused for a moment before going on. “I would leave the candy in the staff room where we all eat lunch, and everyone would get some, but I kept thinking that one day I would actually leave a love note for the other boy and confess how I felt.”

 

“Aww Zayn, you’re such a romantic,” Louis teased.

 

“Yeah, well, one weekend I went to the shop, and Liam was behind the counter. He had just returned from a long trip to the States and had went back to work for his parents at the shop. We had a quick chat and I left thinking that he was really lovely. Of course, we started chatting more and more over the course of the next month or so and then one day he just ask me out for dinner. I was going to say no because I still had my sights on the other boy who had become a close mate too, but then the more I thought about it the more I realized that I liked Liam a lot too. So I said yes and before long I forgot all about my crush on the other bloke. Liam and I became inseparable and I just never looked back. He was the one.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Louis responded with a grin. “Are you still mates with the other bloke?”

 

“You could say that,” Zayn confirmed. “He’s my boss.”

 

Louis’ eyes went wide for the second time in a few minutes. “Harry?” he blurted. “You had a crush on Harry?”

 

Zayn didn’t say a word, only nodded.

 

“Does he know that you once had a crush on him?”

 

“Yeah, I drunkenly told him at a New Year’s Eve party a few years ago,” Zayn admitted. “He seemed flattered actually, but then again he’s a man of few words and can be hard to read. I don’t think he ever had any romantic feelings for me, which is actually a relief.”

 

“Well, I can see the attraction,” Louis offered. “Harry is very handsome, but then again Liam is too. For what it’s worth, I think you and Liam make a beautiful couple and it’s so great that you, along with Harry and Gemma, seem to be such close friends.”

 

“We are,” Zayn answered. “Harry is my best mate. I’d do anything for him and by extension Gemma is like a sister to me.”

 

“The reserve is lucky to have you. I’ve noticed how dedicated you all are to it.”

 

“Thanks,” Zayn replied with a somber tone, “although it may be all for nothing.”

 

Louis gave Zayn a confused look. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean that Cowell Corporation wants to buy land next to the reserve and build a pesticide factory there. Harry’s been fighting against it and now they’re threatening to have the reserve shut down and destroyed.”

 

“How can they do that?” Louis asked. “Isn’t that illegal?”

 

Zayn balled his fists up on the table top. “The reserve is running on a huge deficit. It depends on donations from outside groups, not just the government. Cowell Corp. could probably make a good argument to have the wildlife trust removed and that would be the end of us.”

 

“Surely something can be done to stop that from happening,” Louis argued.

 

“Yeah, I wish,” Zayn replied, “but I can’t come up with a good solution.”

 

Liam returned to the table, effectively cutting the conversation short. Louis wondered if he could sense the tension that both he and Zayn were feeling. If he did, he didn’t show it.

 

“Hey, check out Nialler,” Liam pointed behind Louis.

 

He turned to look and sure enough, there was the Irishman flirting with the blonde woman who had been checking out Louis earlier. Maybe she had been checking out Niall the entire time instead. It didn’t really matter, because clearly she was enthralled with whatever the pub owner was telling her.

 

“Good for him,” Louis smiled. If only he had such luck.


	3. Chapter 3

On Friday morning, Harry received a phone call from one of his superiors in the government who overlooked the recipients of wildlife trusts in the United Kingdom. He was told that the situation looked grim and that more donations were needed to save the reserve. Following Zayn’s advice, he scheduled an appointment to meet Clara Frost from the Cowell Corporation in three weeks to discuss the situation further. It didn’t give him much time to come up with a solution for their financial situation.

 

He and was in the middle of completing a checklist Gemma had left for him to do while she was away for her friend’s wedding when he heard a voice nearby. He peeked around a willow tree to find the source of the voice, thinking it was likely Liam giving a tour, or random visitors, but felt a tightness in his chest once he realized it was Louis. It was the film maker’s fifth day at the reserve, and quite frankly, Harry had thought he’d give up and move on to another place by now. Instead, he was busy with what looked to be a fairly heavy camcorder, recording what appeared to be a natterjack toad on the side of a tree trunk. He softly narrated the events, which wasn’t very eventful at all as the toad was likely sleeping, yet Harry found the scene slightly endearing.

 

Adding to Harry’s interest was the fact that the other man was wearing a sleeveless black tee shirt, exposing the tone muscles of his arms as they worked to keep the camera steady, as well as cut-off jean shorts that showed off his muscular calves. Harry suddenly felt flushed. He leaned against the large willow tree to keep himself steady. Certainly it was the ungodly heat wave bearing down on England that was making him weak. It couldn’t be the man standing five meters away. It couldn’t be. Louis wasn’t his type. He was loud and brash and sociable and, well, straight. Harry was the opposite in every way and in the back of his mind he told himself that over and over until the blue eyed man turned and their eyes locked. He thought his knees might just give out as a smile spread across Louis’ face. What was it about the other man that made him lose all ability to function? It was getting to be downright embarrassing.

 

Louis lowered the camera from his shoulder. “Harry,” he started, “how are you?”

 

“F-Fine,” Harry managed to stutter out.

 

“What are you up to?” Louis asked.

 

“Watching you work,” Harry answered before he could think properly.

 

He saw pink build up on the apples of Louis’ cheeks. Harry fought his foggy brain for more words to further explain himself.

 

“Oh?” Louis questioned, clearly disturbed by Harry’s admission.

 

“I mean, Gemma left me a to-do list because she’s in Liverpool for the next few days. I was working on that when I saw you and I didn’t want to interrupt your filming so I just watched.” Somehow that explanation didn’t sound much better to Harry.

 

“Ah,” Louis nodded. “I was just having some up close and personal time with Mr. Toad here.” He pointed toward the tree where the toad continued to rest.

 

“Thoroughly exciting, I’m sure,” Harry responded with a hint of sarcasm.

 

“Ha ha,” Louis rolled his eyes. “Maybe I wasn’t looking for excitement.”

 

“Seems pretty out of character for you, yeah?” _Fuck_. Harry knew he was dangerously close to flirting with the other man, but he couldn’t help himself if he tried. His control over his brain or mouth was long gone.

 

Louis made a half-huff half-snort sound. “Touché.”

 

Harry smiled and took a drink from his bottle of water. 

 

“So, what’s—”

 

“Shh,” Harry lifted a finger to his mouth.

 

Louis furrowed his brows in clear confusion, but did as told.

 

“Do you hear that?”

 

“Hear what?” Louis asked.

 

“Listen,” Harry whispered.

 

Above them the sound of birds chirping could be heard, but among the noise rose a different sound, one Harry had heard only a few times before.

 

“Is that a baby crying?” Louis questioned.

 

“I don’t think so,” Harry said. “I’ve got to locate the source of the wailing.” He started walking through the trees and brush toward the sound. Glancing behind him he saw that Louis was once again recording with his camera as he followed. As they grew nearer to the cries, they reached the end of the woods and stepped into a meadow. A shoulder-high wooden fence marked the end of the reserve and the beginning of private property. Unfortunately, the sound was coming from the other side of the fence. Harry made the split second decision to climb up and over. He wasn’t blessed with natural grace or athletic ability but he managed to get over the fence without incident.

 

“Harry,” Louis called out from the other side. “I’m coming too. Hold my camera.”

 

Harry reached out and took the camera and Louis climbed over the fence with ease, landing rather gracefully next to Harry before reclaiming his camera.

 

It didn’t take long for Harry to locate the source of the sound.

 

“What is it?” Louis asked him as Harry leaned down in the long grass to investigate. He winced at what he found.

 

“A hedgehog,” Harry replied, glancing toward the camera a few feet away. “When alarmed they scream like human babies.”

 

Blood turned the green grass red surrounding the crying animal. Harry pushed some away and saw one of its back feet nearly ripped in two.

 

“What happened to it?”

 

“I think its leg got caught in a trap, probably set for a hare. Nearly ripped its foot clean off to escape.” He grabbed his work gloves from his back trouser pockets and slid them over his hands before proceeding to pick up the small animal to examine it closer. “The wound looks pretty fresh. I need something to wrap around the leg and slow the bleeding if we’re going to save it.” He looked at his surroundings for a solution and found nothing.

 

“Here!” Louis sat the camera on the ground and took off his shirt. He ripped a strip of material from the bottom of it. “Use this.”

 

Harry took the strip and Louis recorded him as he wrapped up the screaming hedgehog’s small leg and foot, all the while explaining to Louis and the camera what he was doing.

 

“Okay, we’ve got to get this little guy to Jeff quick,” he said once he finished and wrapped the creature up with the rest of Louis’ shirt.

 

They made their way back to the fence helping one another get over it without further injuring the hedgehog or breaking Louis’ equipment. Soon they were back in the woods and had reached the trail that led to the veterinary building.

 

“Do you think Jeff will be able to save him?” Louis asked and Harry thought he could hear genuine concern in the other man’s voice.

 

“I hope so,” Harry answered, “but I’m not sure. He’s lost a lot of blood. If it was winter, the cold would have reduced the amount of bleeding and the risk of infection. The hot summer weather is a definitely a negative.”

 

When they reached Jeff, he quickly evaluated the situation and told them the hedgehog would need to have the bottom of his leg amputated to survive. An emergency surgery was set up with Glenne assisting. Harry and Louis went to the staff room to wait.

 

Louis sat silently on a chair, tilting it back onto two legs like a restless child. His camera sat on the table in front of him. As Harry stood leaning against a counter facing the other man, he noticed for the first time the large tattoo that spanned the entire length of Louis’ upper chest. It read “It Is What It Is” and the script reached from shoulder to shoulder. Harry thought it an interesting philosophy and thought for a moment about asking Louis about its meaning to him, but decided not to risk getting too personal with the other man, who was covered with tattoos on his arms as well. Harry had some as well and he knew that they often held important meaning that the owner of such tattoos may not want to discuss.

 

“Would you like me to get you a shirt?” Harry asked, mostly out of politeness because in reality he was enjoying the view even if he’d never admit it.

 

Louis looked down at his bare torso. “Um, yeah, that would probably be good if you have one on hand.”

 

Harry nodded. “We have a storage wardrobe down the hall with some spare t-shirts. I’ll get you one.” He left the room to grab a red shirt with the reserves’ logo on the left corner. He handed it to Louis once he returned.

 

“Thanks,” Louis replied, slipping the shirt over his head. It hung loose on him, but there was no doubt in Harry’s mind that red was definitely Louis’ color. He looked gorgeous with his messy fringe and his sunglasses pushed up on the top of his head and Harry had to force himself to look away from the other man.

 

“So,” Louis started, “Liam and Zayn are meeting me at Potter’s Pub tonight. I thought maybe you’d like to join us too? If you’re not busy?”

 

Harry froze. If he could barely handle being around Louis at the reserve, how could he handle it at the pub where they’d be sitting near each other all evening? It would be a disaster. There was no way he’d handle it well.

 

“Sure,” he heard himself reply as if his mouth had a mind of its own. _Oh god, what am I getting myself into_?

 

*************************

 

“So, Jeff saved the little hedgehog, but the poor thing will have to survive without a leg for the rest of his life,” Louis told Zayn and Liam who were sitting across the table from him.

 

“I’m sure he’ll adapt though,” Zayn reassured.

 

“That’s what Jeff said too,” Louis responded. “And I got to name him.”

 

“What did you name him?” Liam asked before taking a drink of his beer.

 

“Spike.”

 

“How original,” Zayn declared in a sarcastic tone.

 

Louis pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Sorry, it’s a great name,” he corrected himself. “The best name ever, Tommo.”

 

“Thanks,” Louis plastered a huge smile on his face. He liked Zayn and Liam a lot and the fact that they had also started calling him the nickname that Niall had given him a few days earlier made him like them even more.

 

Just then Harry slipped into the chair next to him. “Sorry I’m late. I had a stack of paperwork to get through.”

 

“You work too hard, Harold,” Niall stated as he came up behind the reserve director. “I never see you anymore. We’re practically strangers at this point.”

 

“Shut up Nialler and get me a beer,” Harry answered.

 

“Is that any way to treat your bartender?” Niall gasped, faking outrage.

 

“Wait, I thought you said you didn’t know Harry well?” Louis looked first at Niall and then Harry.

 

Everyone else laughed.

 

“Niall and Harry have known each other since Niall moved to town years ago,” Zayn informed him. “We used to come here almost every night back then.”

 

Louis looked back up at Niall and gave him the stink eye. “I’ll never trust another word that comes out of your mouth again, Horan,” he proclaimed while pointing a finger in the Irishman’s direction.

 

“Look, I’m not inclined to just blurt out every detail of me life to just any new chap who walks in my bar,” Niall explained. “I had to gauge if you’re trustworthy before I start getting too personal.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“In all honesty,” Niall added, “Harry, Zayn, and Liam are a big reason I was able to get through my wife leaving me. You’re in good hands with these idiots, Tommo, and that’s the one hundred percent truth.”

 

“Aww, Nialler, that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said,” Liam replied.

 

“Don’t get used to it,” Niall blurted before heading back to the bar.

 

The rest of the evening was spent with good conversation, good food, and good beer. Louis loved listening to Zayn and Liam talk about their families, about Liam’s travels in North America, about Zayn’s university years, and about Niall’s adventures working in the pub. He also enjoyed telling stories about his own adventures traveling the world, being eye-to-eye with some of nature’s biggest predators, meeting celebrities (some of whom were among nature’s biggest predators), and attending red carpet events. Still, through it all, Louis noticed that Harry never talked about himself. He sometimes responded to others with a laugh or a few words, but otherwise he mostly just listened. Louis wondered if the fate of the reserve was weighing on him.

 

Just after midnight, Liam and Zayn said their goodbyes. Liam had to be up early to work at the candy shop the next morning. The pub was packed which kept Niall behind the bar assisting the other bartender. Louis scrambled to think of a reason to keep Harry in his seat. He wasn’t ready to be alone just yet and he honestly wanted to know more about the mysterious man sitting next to him.

 

“So—um—Zayn told me about the reserve’s financial issues and that it might lose its government support.” He stared at his hands folded on the table top as he said the words, but once he lifted his eyes he saw Harry’s mouth set in a firm line, his eyes unhappy. “I’m really sorry,” he added, hoping to smooth things over a bit.

 

“I’ll have to remember to tell Zayn to keep his mouth shut from now on,” Harry replied glumly.

 

“Don’t be angry with him,” Louis urged. “He’s just worried about the reserve—and you.”

 

“How would _you_ know?” Harry asked, a tinge of ire wrapped around his words. “You’ve known us for five days.”

 

“Let’s just say that I read people well,” Louis answered. “It’s something one picks up from being in my line of work.”

 

Harry huffed. “Okay, so why do you care? I mean, you have your career. You can leave and go somewhere else any time you want. Go back to your mansion and your lavish parties in London, or LA, or wherever. You can go stampeding off to the South American rainforests or the Australian Outback. Why do you give one bloody fuck about what happens to the reserve, or to me, or anyone else here?”

 

“Well, first, I need to have an income to maintain my mansions and to throw lavish parties. Second, I need financial backing from outside sources to fund my documentaries in places like Kenya or Brazil or Australia. Getting that backing means I need to have a great idea and I need to take that idea and pitch it to television executives and other big businesses. Just because I’ve been successful before doesn’t guarantee I will be again. There’s no guarantees in the business I do. Third, I’m still here because I like Zayn, and Liam, and Gemma, and Jeff, and Glenne,” Louis paused before adding, “and you.”

 

Harry said nothing, as if he was waiting for more.

 

“You see, we’re kind of in the same boat here, H,” Louis continued. “You need outside sources to donate to the reserve and I need outside sources to donate to my project, whatever that ends up being, and I think maybe we can help one another out. I mean, you’re already helping me out, by letting me film at the reserve with few restrictions. Now it’s my turn to reciprocate. I can upload short films about the reserve online and leave a message at the end of each film to donate to the reserve, along with a link to the reserve’s website for more information. Perhaps it will help drive more people and money your way. I don’t know if it’s enough to save the reserve or not, but it’s worth a try, yeah?”

 

“And exactly what do you get out of all of this?” Harry asked, his green eyes set intently on Louis.

 

“Hopefully I get views. If people show interest in the content I’m uploading it could lead to full financial backing by a television studio, or a streaming service like Netflix.”

 

“I’m still not sure why of all places our little nature reserve is what you want to document,” Harry replied, “but at this point we’ll take any help we can get.”

 

Louis smiled. “Sounds like a deal.”

 

“Yeah, it’s a deal,” Harry nodded and Louis swore for just a moment he saw a flash of hope in the other man’s eyes.

 

Louis hoped more than anything that his plan would work out for the both of them and maybe, just maybe, it would lead to Harry becoming less of a mystery to him and more of a friend.


	4. Chapter 4

“Haz, you’ll never guess what happened!” 

 

Harry stopped abruptly, mere inches from running over his big sister. “Bloody hell Gems, have you been waiting for me while I was in the loo this whole time?”

 

Gemma shifted her eyes back and forth. “No, of course not,” she answered. Harry didn’t believe her. “Anyway, guess what happened at the wedding this weekend?”

 

“What?” Harry said.

 

“Guess!” Gemma repeated.

 

He sighed in an effort to appear bored with his sister’s antics. “I don’t know. Eliza panicked and jilted her husband-to-be at the alter?”

 

Gemma laughed. “That’s ridiculous! Eliza and John’s wedding was lovely. I meant guess something more realistic.”

 

“You drank so much at the wedding you threw up all over the dance floor?” 

 

Harry winced as Gemma shoved him in the shoulder. “Have you that little faith in me? I would never do such a thing!”

 

“Sorry,” Harry said, rubbing his shoulder.

 

“Well, actually I did drink too much, but I didn’t vomit until I got back to my hotel room,” she confessed.

 

“Okay, TMI Gems!” Harry put his hands over his ears for a moment. He never had the stomach for bodily fluid talk. “Just tell me what you’re dying to tell me. I do actually have a job to do you know, and Monday mornings are always crazy.”

 

“Okay, sorry,” Gemma answered. “You were right!”

 

“I was right?”

 

“You told me last week that I might meet the man of my dreams at the wedding and I think I actually did!” Gemma finished her confession with a small squeal.

 

“Wait, what?” Harry couldn’t remember ever telling her such a thing, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t serious when he said it, if he said it at all.

 

“I met a man named Michael,” Gemma beamed. “He’s John’s cousin from Birmingham. He danced with me at the reception and helped me get back to my room when I could barely walk at the end of the night. Then the next day he asked me out for lunch. I agreed and had such a wonderful time! We exchanged numbers afterward. I really like him, Haz, so I think you had some crazy psychic powers when you said I would meet the man of my dreams there. I think he’s ‘the one’ I’ve been waiting for all these years!” She made quotation marks with her fingers.

 

Harry put a hand on her shoulder. “I think maybe you should slow down, Sis. You just met this bloke. What if he’s really an arse, or a liar, or secretly married with five children?”

 

Gemma rolled her eyes. “In that case he would be both an arse and a liar, which I doubt very much.”

 

“Okay, maybe I’m over-exaggerating with the secret wife and five kids bit, but you can’t just instantly fall in love with someone you barely know. A man doesn’t just walk into your life and then BAM you’re in love with them before you’ve even held their hand. Love is slow, Gemma. It takes time to develop and for two people to realize they belong together. So, just don’t jump into things too fast, yeah?”

 

Gemma smiled. “One day little brother you’re going to meet someone and they’re going to blow your mind. You won’t even know what’s happened until you’re already in too deep and you’ll realize that love doesn’t work on a schedule. It has a mind of its own and you’re just along for the ride.”

 

“Never gonna happen,” Harry vowed. “I don’t fall in love.”

 

“You will,” Gemma answered. “Trust me.”

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Hello Mr. and Miss Styles.” 

 

Harry turned and Gemma looked up at the sound of the now completely recognizable voice coming from nearby. Harry felt his throat tighten and butterflies flutter in his stomach.

 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything but Gemma, love, I have a few questions for you and wondered if you could accompany me on a hike when you have some available time?”

 

“Of course,” Gemma replied. “How about later this afternoon, Louis? I have a meeting with Zayn in a few minutes and then Liam asked me to speak to a group of school children who are visiting the reserve today.” 

 

“Okay.” Louis pushed his fringe away from his right eye, a frequent habit Harry had noticed at the pub a few nights earlier. Harry thought it was a quirky, but also kind of cute, giving a boyish quality to the grown man standing beside him. “I’ll be on the north end of the pond. Come find me when you’re free.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Harry,” Louis addressed him. “How are you today? Do anything exciting this weekend?”

 

“I’m—um—fine,” Harry replied, unable to look the other man fully in the eyes. “I had a rather uneventful weekend. You?”

 

“I hung out with Niall at his place. Netflix and chill. He’s a top lad that one.”

 

“Yes, he is,” Harry agreed. He swore he could feel his sister’s eyes locked on him, but didn’t dare take a look. Surely she could see what a wreck he was in Louis’ presence. He wasn’t even sure why he always made such a fool of himself whenever Louis was around, because the documentarian had been nothing but kind to him since they met one week earlier, and by now Harry should have grown more comfortable around him. He was pretty to look at, but otherwise they were two completely different people with completely different lives. In some sense they were unofficial business partners, but Louis was happy and outgoing and very wealthy, and not to mention, a celebrity. Harry was shy and serious and struggled to make ends meet. Most of all, he was damaged. He was the furthest thing from a wealthy privileged celebrity. Yet, a part of him wanted to know Louis better. Could they be mates? Or would Louis drop Harry and his friends the minute that he secured the funding for his next big project? He had the reputation of a wild party boy, not a serious businessman, and that made Harry uneasy. These same thoughts played over and over in his mind like a broken record.

 

“Well, I’ll let you both get back to work. See you later, yeah?” Louis broke the awkward silence that had developed. He waved and was gone as quickly as he arrived. Harry released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

 

Once he had the fortitude to look at his sister, he regretted the decision immediately. A cheesy grin crossed her face. 

 

“Don’t say a word,” he warned her with a point of his index finger.

 

“He’s gorgeous,” Gemma offered gently.

 

“He’s also straight,” Harry reiterated, “and nothing like me. He’s out of my league with his fame and wealth.”

 

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Gemma said. “Maybe he is straight, but if by some chance he isn’t then he’d be crazy to not see how amazing you are, little brother. Clearly he’s taken a shine to you too. It’s written all over his face when he looks at you.”

Harry turned to hide the color filling his cheeks. “Get back to work,” he muttered before returning to his own office. 

 

 

“Five new donations just this morning. That’s more than the daily average of one or two. They were small, but anything helps at this point.”

“Did you see the video Louis uploaded?” Liam asked before taking a bite of his turkey sandwich.

 

Harry shook his head. “No, I wasn’t aware he uploaded one.”

 

“It was the video of the two of you finding the hedgehog, helping it, and then taking it to Jeff. I watched it this morning and I’m not surprised that we’re getting some donations,” Liam explained. “Your running commentary during the video was brilliant, along with Louis’ editing of course. Anyone who watches it will be moved.”

 

“Hmm.” Harry considered Liam’s words. “It won’t matter unless the video blows up. We were operating on a deficit even before I accepted this job.”

 

“Well, we do have the fundraiser in Norwich this weekend,” Liam offered. “Have you heard anything else from London?” 

 

“Not since last week when I was told our chances didn’t look good.”

 

“What about Cowell Corporation? Have they contacted you again?”

 

“No,” Harry replied. “I meet with their VP of Development in less than two weeks.”

 

“You think they’ll be willing to compromise if you stop fighting them on buying the land nearby?” 

 

Harry scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know, maybe, but I’m not sure if _I’m_ willing to compromise.”

 

Liam’s brown eyes seemed to grow larger, like saucers. “You have to, Haz.”

 

“Do I?” Harry asked. “Maybe losing this fight is the correct answer to the problem. Fuck, Payno, I’m not good at this stuff. I can barely communicate with my mates, let alone the heads of a billion pound corporation. I’ve never really been a businessman. I’m in over my head..”

“Yeah, you are,” Liam agreed, “but you’re not alone in this. Don’t you forget that.”

 

 

“And over here we have a female turtle dove with a broken wing. According to the reserve’s resident veterinarians, it will take the wing approximately one month to heal. Only then will she be released back into the wild.”

 

Harry cleared his throat. 

 

Louis turned and quickly shut off his camera. 

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” Harry stated.

 

The other man shook his head. “No, I was just documenting what goes on here in the clinic.”

 

“I...um, I heard about the video you put online,” Harry confessed. “I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, but it’s led to a handful of much-needed donations, so I wanted to say thank you.”

 

“We had a deal,” Louis replied, “It benefits us both, remember?”

 

Harry tried to hide his disappointment in Louis’ response, but he wasn’t sure he was successful. “Yeah.”

 

“You’re welcome though,” Louis continued. “I’m actually kind of enjoying being here. There’s something kind of special about this place.” He smiled and Harry felt his defenses slipping.

 

“You should see it late at night,” Harry suggested. “That’s when the real magic happens.”

 

“I’m not sure I could navigate this place after dark,” Louis said. “I’d need a guide.”

 

“I could help you out.” Harry’s gaze dropped from Louis’ face to his Adidas trainers.

 

“Just name the date and time.”

 

Harry chewed his bottom lip for a moment. “How about tonight?” He slowly lifted his eyes until they were in line with a pair of blue ones.

 

Louis raised his eyebrows. “Works for me.”

 

“Alright,” Harry replied, “I’ll meet you at the pub at half nine.”

 

“I look forward to it,” Louis answered with a wink.

 

Harry was certain Louis was silently laughing at the obviously shaken look on Harry’s face as he waved goodbye.

 

******************

 

“What do you think? Black skinny jeans or gray joggers? Do you think the joggers are too casual? How does my fringe look?”

 

A simple meow was the only answer he received.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Louis asked. “I know it’s not a date, but I like him a lot...as a friend.”

 

This time he was met with nothing but the stare of yellow eyes with small black slits.

 

“Ugh, why am I trying to converse with a bloody feline?”

 

He pulled the skinny jeans on, along with a long sleeved red tee shirt. Then he pulled on a pair of black and white Vans with no socks. It wasn’t exactly the wardrobe for romping through the woods or grassland, but tonight he didn’t care. Last, he messed with his hair a bit, before he heard a knock at the door.

 

Louis was met with a timid smile on the other side of the door. That smile changed instantly when the wearer became aware of the purring cat at his ankles.

 

“Who’s this?” Harry asked, kneeling down to pet the kitten’s head.

 

“Her name is Luna,” Louis replied, “and I’m pretty sure you’re going to be her best mate in about two minutes if you keep petting her like that.”

 

“I never imagined you to be a cat person. Well, not domesticated cats anyway.”

 

“Yeah, me neither, until I got one. I went to the animal shelter looking for a puppy and came home with a black cat instead. I’m convinced she has magical abilities and cast a spell on me so I would take her home from that awful place.”

 

“She’s lucky you adopted her,” Harry said. “If it wasn’t for you, she likely wouldn’t be alive today. Shelters kill more black cats than any other color. They don’t get adopted because people either view their color as boring, or still believe the ages old myth that they bring bad luck.”

 

“Good thing I like the color black and don’t believe in luck, innit?”

 

Harry nodded. “Uh-huh.”

 

Twenty minutes later they were in Harry’s Toyota pick-up truck (that Harry assured was bought for the convenience of transporting things for work). A large black backpack sat between them in the cab. They drove past the reserve’s car park which Louis thought was odd but decided not to mention it. The silence inside the vehicle was comfortable and he didn’t want to risk that comfort.

 

Soon, Harry turned off the paved road onto a dirt path cut into the middle of a grassy meadow.

“Where are we going?” Louis finally spoke, worried that Harry would drive them straight into a ditch when he had only the length of the headlight beams to guide him. 

 

“You’ll see,” was all Harry offered in response.

 

Louis looked at the other man, admittedly difficult to see in the dark, for the first time completely taking in the view. Gone was his required work apparel and in its place was a black Pink Floyd tee shirt and black skinny jeans with holes in the knees. Instead of work boots, he wore brown Chelsea boots; a look Louis hadn’t expected from the reserve’s shy director. His hair wasn’t pulled up in its usual messy bun, but flowed free. Curls enveloped his neck and brushed the top of his shoulders. Louis resisted the urge to reach out and touch them. He wasn’t sure what he felt inside, but he knew the man next to him was beautiful. He was pretty sure that applied both inside and out and Louis longed to break down some of the walls Harry persistently kept up. 

 

The pathway led through a wooded area before coming again to a clearing. Harry drove into the middle of the almost perfectly circular meadow. Trees made a border all the way around it and the only light was that of the full moon shining down from above. The truck’s engine cut off and Harry opened the door to get out, bringing the backpack with him.

 

“C’mon,” Harry motioned.

 

Louis followed, his eyes still adjusting to his surroundings. Harry handed a flashlight to Louis, before he unzipped the bag, and pulled out a large fleece blanket that he spread across the bed of the truck. He climbed inside and offered a hand to Louis, helping him up too. They laid down on their backs next to one another, knees bent and feet flat on the truck bed, and looked up at the night sky. Perhaps the darkness gave Harry more confidence, Louis thought. He turned his head to look at the other man, and was met by the shine of eyes staring back at him.

 

“Where are we exactly?” Louis asked.

 

“We’re on private property just north of the reserve. An elderly friend of mine owns the land and has plans of donating it to the reserve in his will. He showed me this spot years ago and I still come out here on nights when I need to get some perspective or just be alone.”

 

“Well, you brought me along, so are you trying to tell me that I need to get some perspective?” Louis questioned, a hint of amusement in his tone.

 

“No,” Harry replied, “I’m sorry if that’s what you thought I was implying. I wasn’t.”

 

Louis chuckled. “Relax, I was just teasing you. I get what you were saying.”

 

He heard a nervous sounding laugh leave Harry’s mouth beside him before they fell silent. Louis stared up at the moon and the sprinkling of stars above and marveled at how God, or Mother Nature, or Fate, or whatever force was in charge of the universe, granted them such a perfect night for whatever it was they were doing out here. What were they doing? He wasn’t sure. Was it simply enjoying nature or something more than that? At the moment it didn’t matter. Just the feeling of being close to someone he found so interesting in a place that didn’t involve swarming paparazzi, forced smiles, and fake personas was liberating. As a result, adrenaline rushed through his body despite its relaxed state.

 

“Do you hear that?” Harry whispered.

 

All Louis could hear was the pounding of his own heart, but he tried to clear his mind enough to focus on the sound Harry was referring to. In the distance, perfectly timed hoots could be heard. The first always sounded further away than the next slightly different one. 

 

“Owls?” Louis said.

 

“Yeah,” Harry answered, “they’re called long-eared owls. The lower pitched one is the male and the higher pitched hoot comes from the female. It’s mating season right now, but once it’s over in a month or so they will be quiet in the night until mating season begins again next year.”

 

“Interesting.”

 

“What else do you hear?” Harry asked.

 

Louis listened closer, trying to block the sound of the owls out and focus on another of the sounds from the forest surrounding them. A few moments later a very high pitched screech came from the woods on their right.

 

“What is that? Some type of bird?”

 

“No,” Harry said. “It’s a red fox. A female I think.”

 

“Wow,” Louis responded, “it’s amazing the sounds that nature makes, innit? No matter where I go I’m always surprised by what I learn about the creatures that inhabit the land or water.”

 

“You love your job, don’t you?” Harry asked.

 

Louis nodded, although he wasn’t sure if Harry could see it without the flashlight on. “I do.”

 

“Lou, can I ask you a serious question?”

 

Louis’ breath caught in his throat at the sound of Harry calling him Lou. Many people in his life used that nickname for him, but it was the first time that Harry had called him that and it made his stomach tighten in anticipation of hearing it again. Once he regained his senses, he answered. “Yeah.”

 

“Why are you really here?” Harry inquired. “I mean, you say you love your job, and I’ve seen your documentaries. I’ve seen you swim with sharks, ride on the backs of camels, walk with wild giraffes, sleep near a den of lions, pet chimpanzees. I’ve seen you on the front of The Sun or The Daily Mail more times than I can count. Everyone knows who your are and knows about your fast living lifestyle, about the parties, and the women, and the expensive cars and yachts. You can have anything you desire, so why here of all places? Why now?”

 

Louis took a deep breath. It wasn’t something he had ever discussed with anyone before, not even his mum, but it was a fair question, and for some reason Louis felt deep down he could trust the man beside him. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe he was wrong and Harry would run to the tabloids, but he didn’t care anymore. He needed to open up for once. Who knew when he would get a chance to again?

 

“I said I love my job, not my life.” Louis felt his hands shaking beside his body.

 

He heard Harry take in a breath before responding. “You don’t love your life?”

 

“I just—,” Louis started, unsure at first how to put the words together, “I went home last Christmas to see my family. I had been living mostly in the States when I wasn’t working and if I was here I was in London. For the last decade, I only saw my family for the occasional wedding or funeral, unless they came to see me, but for some reason I felt I had to go home to Donny last year. My birthday is Christmas Eve and my mum made me a cake, and we celebrated it just like we used to celebrate me birthdays when I was a child. That evening my little sister arrives and announces that she’s engaged to be married. Here’s my twenty-three year old sister with a business degree, a great job in Manchester, and a good man beside her. She has her whole life figured out and most importantly she’s happy. Me? I’m thirty and I’ve made a career and life out of bullshitting people, and the worst part is that I’m fucking all alone.”

 

“Louis...”

 

“Don’t say anything, please?” Louis begged. “I don’t want pity. I just know that I want to be me, because I can’t remember what it’s like to be me when I’m out there in the celebrity world. I just know that the only place where I can feel a semblance of me old self is when I’m here in England. You see, when you get famous at a young age, all these big Hollywood people surround you, and they tell you how you should act, what you should say, who you should be, and they grab you and squeeze the life out of you until there’s just a shell. It’s all fake, H. Fuck, it’s _all_ fake.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean the parties, the relationships, the smiles for the cameras, the pap walks. All of it was fake. Even the amount of knowledge I pretended to have about the subject of my documentaries was fake. The way I presented myself to strangers was mostly fake. I was the master of lying and manipulating everyone. I hated it. I started to hate myself. I hated my real self _and_ my fake self, so I immersed myself in work. The more exotic the location the better. The more dangerous the better. Anything to keep me from having to be photographed drunk and leaving a club in LA, or going on a yacht trip with some model who I had never met before, just so the rumors would spread that we were dating. If I was on location filming, I could ignore all the bullshit. So that’s what I did for the last couple years, until last Christmas, when I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. I fired my managers and agent a few months ago and broke ties with most of the people I had worked with in the industry. I’ve only kept in touch with a few people that I trust. Still, changing hasn’t been easy either.”

 

“So, you’re essentially trying to start over,” Harry surmised.

 

“I’m not sure starting over is the way I would put it,” Louis said, “maybe getting a new perspective.”

 

Harry let out a soft laugh. “And you let me think you would be offended if I was suggesting you need some perspective. I see how it is.”

 

Louis laughed too. God, it felt amazing to actually be honest and open with someone. “I just want to do what I love, in a place that I love, without having to sacrifice my soul...and my pride.” He didn’t want to say more than that, because he wasn’t quite ready, but he thought maybe Harry already understood; likely on a personal level.

 

Harry was silent for a few moments. Then Louis felt the brush of a finger against his own pinky finger. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest at the touch.

 

“For the record, I didn’t much like the man I thought you were because of the tabloids and such, and when we met I was hesitant to get to know you, because I thought you were all looks and not much substance. I thought you would be here two days and be gone and we’d all be better off. I know now that I was wrong and I’m glad I gave you a chance to get some new perspective here in our quaint, rather vanilla, corner of the world.”

 

Louis felt tears stinging behind his eyes, but he successfully held them back. “Vanilla?” He turned on his right side to face Harry better. “Look around you H and listen to the sounds of this place. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told you there was something special here. It might not be the Sahara, or the Himalayas, or the Amazon, but what you all are doing here is just as important as the conservation efforts of any organization across the globe. There are so many creatures here who are getting a chance to survive when the modern world threatens their entire existence.”

 

Harry swallowed. “Thanks for giving me an outside perspective, Lou. I needed to hear that.”

 

There was the nickname again. Louis liked it even more this time. “That’s what we’re out here for isn’t it? Perspective?”

 

Harry laughed. “I’m beginning to think so, yeah.”

 

“H, can I ask you something?”

 

“I guess.” Harry’s voice was slow and timid and Louis wondered if this would be the moment he would close up and refuse to let Louis in again.

 

“You’re quite young to be the director of this place, and you’re more knowledgeable about the plant and animal life than I would expect from someone in your position. I imagined a more business minded person first, not that I didn’t think you’d love nature too, but I was just surprised at how much you know, y’know?”

 

“That was about as eloquent as me speaking at a council meeting.” Harry snorted.

 

“Shut up!” Louis raised his voice, trying, but failing, to sound offended.

 

“Okay, okay,” said Harry, rolling onto his left side. “I studied biology at university and during the summers I would intern here at the reserve.”

 

“I think Zayn mentioned that to me, that you were both interns here.”

 

“Did he mention his huge crush on me back then too?” Harry asked with a grin.

 

“He did actually,” Louis admitted. “How blind were you to not notice a bloke that hot was into you?”

 

“I knew,” Harry said, “but I chose to ignore it. I think I was mostly scared of it, so I was relieved when Zayn and Liam met and fell for each other. Less pressure to just be mates.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Anyway, after I got my degree in biology, I started on my graduate degree while still interning at the reserve. The director, Dr. Gregory, became like an uncle to me, a mentor.” Harry paused for a few seconds before continuing. “He—um—was diagnosed with cancer and was forced into retirement so he could undergo treatment.”

 

“Did the treatment work?” Louis asked.

 

“Yes, but he was left a much physically weaker man than before and would never be able to go back to work again. He’s actually the person who owns this land.”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“So, the reserve needed a new director, and Dr. Gregory nominated me. The government council who would make the final decision was unsure about the suggestion, but Dr. Gregory stood firm in his choice. To be honest, I didn’t really even want the job. I had my heart set on being a zoologist and conservationist somewhere far away like Brazil, or Madagascar, or summat.”

 

“So, why didn’t you just say you appreciate the offer but refuse to accept the position?”

 

“I was too afraid of hurting Dr. Gregory’s feelings and too shy to speak up. I was really young and I loved this place. I was scared that someone else would take over who wasn’t as committed to the reserve as Dr. Gregory had been. So I took the job. I told myself I would work here for a year or two until someone else trustworthy and more qualified came along, and then I would leave and get my PhD and be on my way to bigger things. That was over three years ago now and still here I am.”

 

Louis licked his lips trying to think of what to say. “Have your plans changed?” He finally settled on.

 

Harry sighed. “I don’t know. I still sometimes dream of bigger things, but honestly this has become my passion. I’m way underqualified for this job, and most of the time I’d rather be outside with the animals than inside making phone calls, but even so I don’t think I really want to leave, and honestly we’re all one big family here now, which….”

 

“Which makes the financial situation even more difficult to deal with,” Louis finished.

 

“I blame myself for that,” Harry stated matter-of-factly, “even though some of the debt existed before I became director. I didn’t know about it until afterward and despite huge efforts to bring in more funding, we just can’t seem to secure enough regular donors. There are other larger and more well known nature reserves in the UK that the public prefer to support, not-to-mention, the larger zoos, and other wildlife organizations. We’re still too small to draw enough attention, or at least I’ve run out of ideas on how to raise more funds.”

 

“I’m going to upload more videos. I know it’s not enough but maybe it will help a bit,” Louis replied. His heart hurt just thinking about Harry and the others having to walk away from the reserve and Cowell Corp. destroying it. “What would happen to the animals if…?”

 

“Some could be moved to other wildlife centers, nature reserves, or maybe even a zoo. The endangered animals would likely find homes somewhere, but those not on the endangered species list might not be so lucky, and some of the species would be impossible to even track down and transport due to their small size, or ability to hide from humans. I—,” Harry stammered, “I don’t want to think about what would happen if it comes to that.” Louis heard a sniffle mere inches away and without even thinking he reached out and ran his fingers gently through Harry’s hair.

 

“It won’t come to that,” he promised. He knew it was likely a mistake to make those types of assurances when he had no idea how to fix the problem, but he knew he had to help find a solution. He withdrew his hand and let it rest on the other man’s forearm. His heart thumped harder in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to rescue the man lying beside him, but Louis knew he wasn’t a superhero and it might take a miracle. He wouldn’t let that stop him. “We’ll find a way, yeah?”

 

Harry nodded before wiping a stray tear from his left cheek. “You don’t have to get involved you know.”

 

“I know,” Louis answered, “but I want to help and nothing you can say will stop me.”

 

“In that case, thank you,” Harry said. 

 

“Don’t thank me yet. Wait until there’s good news to do that.”

 

“Okay.”

 

They remained there silent, in the bed of the truck, for what felt like an eternity, lying face-to-face, their hands sometimes brushing, and Louis’ mind and body itched for even more touch. Yet, neither man made a move, both seemingly unable to fully comprehend what was happening between them. When Louis’ head finally hit his own pillow in the wee hours of the morning, his soul felt a little bit lighter than it had in a very long time.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days were business as usual for Harry. There was no news from the government appointed council in London or from anyone at Cowell Corporation.

 

On Wednesday, Louis uploaded a follow-up video about Spike the hedgehog on his website and once again it led to a handful of donations to the reserve. Harry hadn’t had much time to spend with Louis, other than a quick lunch together on Thursday afternoon (if one could call Louis’ bag of crisps lunch). Yet, the handful of times they had run into one another, in the office building or outside, had been filled with shy smiles and quick touches of a shoulder or forearm.

 

Harry was still trying to process what had happened between them Monday night. He hadn’t intended for it to take the turn that it took. In the end, it had felt a lot like a date. Harry had learned a great deal about Louis, and in turn, he had revealed a great deal about himself to the documentarian too. It was clear that Louis was a more touchy feely person than Harry was typically comfortable with. Yet, Harry found that with Louis he longed to be touched. Just the graze of a finger against his skin was enough to send his heart racing, and his mind buzzing, and he even sometimes found himself reaching out first.

 

Gemma and Zayn had been relentless with the teasing. For them, it was the first time they had witnessed Harry being smitten with someone. It wasn’t the first time for Harry though. Unfortunately, the last time he felt such strong feelings for someone else, it resulted in him withdrawing from society for years afterward. It was the reason he hadn’t so much as kissed another man since his early days at uni. Already introverted and socially awkward, he had sought shelter and comfort in the great outdoors.

 

He owed Zayn, Liam, and Niall, along with Dr. Gregory, for helping him slowly integrate back into the society. Yet, while he had once again been able to hold occasional conversations with strangers at bars or visitors at the reserve, the idea of dating anyone was an absolute never-going-to-happen in Harry’s mind. He had been set in the idea that he was bound to live out his life eternally alone. He would be the fun uncle to Gemma’s future children, and hopefully to Zayn and Liam’s as well, and that would be enough for him. He never wanted to risk a repeat of last time.

 

Now, he found himself lying awake at night questioning it all. Could he take a risk? Should he? Louis hadn’t even said explicitly that he was attracted to men. Maybe Harry was reading into it way too much? Still, he thought the other man had implied it, and the touches felt more gentle and intimate than the touches he received from platonic friends.

 

On Friday evening, Harry met Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall at the local Chinese restaurant. Niall had a rare weekend evening off, so they thought it would be a treat to go somewhere other than the pub. Harry ordered sweet and sour pork rice, along with a beer. He sat next to Liam and directly across from Louis. Niall sat across from Liam and Zayn sat at one end of the rectangular table. between his husband and the Irishman.

 

“So, the plan is that we’ll meet at the reserve at nine, pack up the cars, and we should arrive in Norwich by noon. Hopefully, there will be a good turn out,” Liam explained.

 

“There was last year, but even then it wasn’t near enough to make a dent in our deficit,” Harry said with a frown. “We’re going to need to schedule twice as many fundraisers than usual during the second half of the year.”

 

“But if we do that then we would start infringing on the territory of other reserves. That wouldn’t help our reputation within the conservation community,” Zayn added.

 

“What else can we do?” Harry asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Liam said, “but let’s brainstorm another time when we’re not supposed to be having a good time.”

 

“Here here!” Niall raised his beer bottle. “To the reserve! May it not see its last days until long after we’re all gone.” The others raised their own bottles and clinked them together before taking a long swig.

 

Not long after, Harry felt a shoe brush against his boot and stay there. He glanced across the table, in search of blue eyes, yet those blue eyes were fixed on Niall instead, but Harry swore he could detect the slightest hint of a smile on Louis’ face. He was good at this game, damn good, and Harry was just an amateur in comparison.

 

The night drew on, and by ten they were all finished eating. Soon, Harry, Zayn, and Liam would have to leave due to the early day they had planned Saturday. Harry had words on the tip of his tongue all night that he couldn’t quite spit out, but now he had no choice as time was escaping them.

 

“So, Louis, Gemma bailed on me tomorrow. She’s going to see this new bloke she met last weekend, so we have room for one more. I wondered if maybe you would like to accompany us to the fundraiser in Norwich. You could be our surprise celebrity guest.” Harry raised his eyebrows as he finished with the suggestion.

 

Louis gave him what appeared to be a genuine smile. “I’m sorry, Harry, I would love to go, but I can’t. There’s someone I need to visit tomorrow. It’s very important to me.”

 

“It’s okay.” Harry tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. “Maybe next time?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Louis replied. Harry felt a socked foot rub his left leg from his ankle up to nearly his knee. There was an earnest look in Louis’ eyes that told Harry he was truly sorry for letting him down.

 

As they walked down the street toward the pub a short while later, Harry and Louis hung back a bit from their other three mates. 

 

“Look, H, I want you to know that I really do wish I could go with you tomorrow, but there’s something I have to do.” Louis took a hand out of his jacket pocket and placed it on the middle of Harry’s back. Even with the cloth of his flannel shirt separating their skin, the feeling sent tingles down his spine.

 

“It’s fine, Louis. I understand,” he answered, desperately wanting to reach out and touch Louis’ arm. or face, or anything.

 

“Okay, good,” Louis responded. “Because I think I might miss those dimples of yours if you hated me for skipping out on the invitation.”

 

Harry smiled back shyly before looking away. Louis Tomlinson would be the death of him. That is if the Cowell Corporation didn’t kill him first.

 

*********************

 

Saturday had brought with it a break from the heat. Louis felt cool enough to even wear a jacket that morning. He parked on the street and walked up to the small porch of a modest sized home with a large garden. He knocked on the white door. It was a few moments before he heard the commotion inside.

 

Finally the door swung open and he was met with a screeching, “Louis!” Soon there was an eight year old wrapped around his waist.

 

“Doris, how is me favorite sister?” he asked the child, her red curls bouncing as she hugged him tighter.

 

Before she could answer him, he was met with another child crashing into them. “Louis, what are you doing here?” asked his only brother, Ernest.

 

“I missed you lot!” Louis replied. It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the real reason he had traveled to Doncaster to see his family.

 

Once he looked up he met his mother’s fond eyes. He had last visited in March for her birthday, but even so it felt like it had been ages ago.

 

“To what do we owe this surprise visit?” Johannah, his mother, asked. 

 

“Hi, Mum. May I speak with you alone?”

 

His mother nodded, leading him into the house and toward the kitchen. Doris and Ernest followed them. Louis leaned down to speak to them. “If you two let me speak to Mum alone for a bit, I’ll take you both for ice cream later. Deal?”

 

The twins looked at one another before gigantic smiles crossed their faces. “Deal!” 

 

Once the door was closed and Louis was alone with his mother, he sat down at the kitchen table and his mum, knowing him far too well, put the kettle on before sitting down across from him.

 

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Johannah asked, a concerned look on her face.

 

Louis took in a deep breath. His hands, folded on top of the table, shook slightly. He didn’t know how to go about this, never really had. It had been easier keeping his family in the dark all these years, but now here he was a man of thirty. It was time to tell the truth.

 

“Mum,” his voice shook as hard as his hands. “I have to tell you something I should have told you years ago.”

 

Johannah wrapped her hands around his folded ones. “What is it, love?”

 

Tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. “Fuck,” he whispered. His mother gave him a mildly disapproving look. “Sorry, I know you hate when I swear.”

 

“It’s okay,” Johannah said, squeezing his hands.

 

“Shit, I—,” he started again, pulling one hand away to wipe his cheeks with his jacket sleeve. “I don’t...it’s so hard to say.”

 

“I know it’s difficult, but if you just say it quickly then you get it over with and don’t have to worry anymore.” The kettle whistled and Johannah got up to pour them both a cuppa. She put the teacups on the table in front of them and they both sat silent for awhile, before Louis finally dug up the courage to go for it.

 

“Mum, I’m gay.” 

 

There it was. The bombshell. The surprise storyline. The cold hard truth. And he felt ashamed. Not ashamed because of who he was, he was past that shame, but because of how long, and the manner in which, he had kept the secret.

 

“I’m sorry,” he choked out at the heartbroken look on his mum’s face. His gaze dropped to his lap.

 

His mother was immediately up and around to the other side of the table, embracing him as tightly as she could. “No, darling, you have _nothing_ to be sorry for. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

 

Louis nodded his head into his mother’s shoulder. Tears poured out of both of their eyes. “Mum, I would’ve told you a long time ago, but me manager made me hide it. Told me I couldn’t be honest about my sexuality because it would cost me my career. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.”

 

Johannah pulled away and held his face in her hands. “Louis, I love you know matter what. It doesn’t matter whether you’re gay, or straight, or something else. It doesn’t matter when you chose to tell me about it. I just want you to be happy, love. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you truly happy.”

 

He sniffed, and his mother grabbed him a tissue from a nearby box. “I wasn’t happy. I lied for so long about who I am,” he answered. “I hated the parties, and the paparazzi, and the fake girlfriends. It’s why I didn’t come home. I couldn’t look you in the eye and lie to you anymore.”

 

“Does it make you feel any better if I told you that I rightly suspected what was going on all these years?” 

 

Louis’ face scrunched in confusion. “You did?”

 

Johannah nodded. “When you were about thirteen or fourteen I remember questioning the way you would look at that lad down the lane. What was his name?”

 

“Luke?” Louis asked, thinking back on when he shared his first kiss with that lad down the lane at the age of fifteen. He knew then he’d never have romantic feelings for a girl.

 

“Yes,” his mother remembered. “I never saw you look at any girl that way.”

 

Louis chuckled through his sniffs.

 

“Then once you were famous, I never saw any chemistry between you and all those women. I second guessed myself of course, but deep down I always thought we’d end up here someday.”

 

“You were right,” Louis said. He smiled up at her. Why had he ever let himself keep running away from his family?

 

“So why _are_ you telling me this now?” Johannah asked. “You must have a reason.”

 

“I do,” Louis responded. “I fired my management and I’ve decided that I need to focus on myself and making my career something that happens on me own terms, not on someone else’s.”

 

“That’s amazing, love! I’m so proud of you.”

 

Louis smirked. It felt good to bond with his mother for the first time in as long as he could remember.

 

“There’s something else,” he added.

 

“Oh?” 

 

“I met a man,” Louis said, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

 

“Are you in love with him?” Johannah asked, excitement gleamed in her eyes.

 

“I don’t know,” Louis replied, “maybe?” His mind drifted briefly to the vision of sparkling green eyes, dimples, and long brown curls. “We just met recently and I don’t know if it’s going to lead to anything or not, but I just know I don’t want to hide anymore. If he does want it to lead somewhere I want it to be open and honest and eventually public.”

 

His mother silently nodded.

 

“I think I couldn’t let that happen if I was still withholding the truth from you, Mum. So that’s why I had to come here today.”

 

She gave him a tight hug. “I’m glad you did, darling. I’ll support you no matter what decision you make about going ‘public’ with your sexuality, or relationship, and I know your sisters will too. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult this all must have been for you. I think happiness is just on the horizon though.”

 

“I think so too,” Louis admitted. “Thanks, Mum. I love you.”

 

“I love you too, son,” Johannah replied. They hugged again and Louis fought back tears. It felt like he had been doing a lot of that lately.

 

He took a deep breath, just as he had at the beginning of the conversation, but this time he was filled with relief. “I better go find Doris and Ernie. I promised them ice cream and I really do need to get back to Fallham by dinner time.”

 

******************

 

Just after 5 o’clock, Harry unlocked the door to the house he shared with his sister. It was a small two-bedroom-one-bathroom terraced house with a tiny front garden on the east edge of town. Gemma had still made room for a flower bed, however, and it gave the home a little more curb appeal. Once he turned on the lights and took in his surroundings he changed out of his green polo shirt and khaki pants into black joggers and a plain gray t-shirt. He grabbed a book off his nightstand and curled up on his sofa to read. 

 

The fundraiser, at the Norwich Football Club, had went as well as they could have hoped. Liam did a wonderful job selling the importance of the reserve to the area. Jeff chipped in by explaining the need for native endangered species to be monitored in a safe living environment. Last, Zayn showed off an exhibit of his favorite caterpillars, moths, and butterflies. Cora, the administrative assistant, had set up a catered lunch as well. The day ended with several thousand pounds raised. It wasn’t anywhere near enough to get them out of debt, however, the experience was enough to put Harry in a good mood for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

 

Lost in his book, he also lost track of time. Daylight had faded away and the sun was low on the horizon. It was only a knock on the door that alerted Harry to the time that had passed. He glanced at the miniature grandfather wall clock, hand-made by his late grandfather, as he stood up. Half eight! How had he burned three hours reading about the philosophy of animal rights? His mind hadn’t registered it, but his bladder certainly had.

 

He limped to the door, trying not to wee right there on the sitting room rug. Pulling open the door he was surprised to see who was standing on the front step.

 

“Hi, H. Sorry, I hope this isn’t a bad time, but Niall informed me that you would be home alone tonight, and I was alone too, so I thought I’d get a pizza, even though you probably already have eaten, and we could maybe watch a film or summat?”

 

Harry couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. The sight of Louis Tomlinson standing at his door, clearly freezing half-to-death (even with a jacket on) in the cool breeze, his dark hair unkempt, while holding a pizza and apologizing for showing up at Harry’s door in the first place, was nothing short of amusing...and cute. He ushered the other man into the house.

 

“Actually, I haven’t eaten yet. Come in. Make yourself comfortable,” he answered while clumsily trying to cross his legs. “Sorry, but I really have to wee right now.”

 

Louis chuckled. “Well, at least I know now that you’re not practicing some weird rain dance or summat, because I was beginning to wonder.”

 

Harry let out a burst of laughter as he shuffled down the hallway to the loo, nearly pissing himself as a result. Thankfully, he made it to the toilet in time and found Louis stretched out on the sofa when he returned. The pizza box sat on the coffee table in front of him.

 

“I hope you washed your hands.”

 

“Of course. I always do.”

 

“Good, because I wouldn’t want to share pizza with someone who doesn’t wash their hands after using the loo,” Louis said cheekily. 

 

“Well, then, that shouldn’t be a problem,” Harry replied in an equally cheeky tone. “Are you planning on sharing my sofa too or am I going to have to sit on the floor?”

 

“That depends,” Louis answered, propping himself up on one elbow. 

 

“Depends on what?” Harry asked.

 

“On whether or not you’ll let me put my feet in your lap during the film.”

 

“I never said I wanted to watch a film with you. I was actually enjoying the book I was reading before you interrupted me,” Harry teased.

 

“Oh, well then by all means I’ll leave you to your book.” Louis stood up and pretended to grab the pizza to leave.

 

“Fine!” Harry replied, intentionally over-reacting. “I’ll watch one with you. I’ll even let you put your feet in my lap, but only on one condition.”

 

“What condition?” Louis sat back down slowly.

 

“You keep your socks on.”

 

“I can’t promise that. I actually detest socks.”

 

“Well, it’s my home and my sofa and my lap. I don’t want your smelly bare feet on any of my things.”

 

“Fine.” Louis lowered his eyebrows. “I’ll keep my socks on.”

 

Harry let Louis choose a movie on Netflix while he sought out plates and beer from the kitchen. When he returned, he was pleasantly surprised to see that the other man hadn’t picked an action flick, or worse a scary one, but had settled on a film that Harry had loved since childhood.

 

“E.T.?” Harry asked, one eyebrow raised. “I hadn’t expected that.”

 

“What can I say?” Louis responded. “I’m full of surprises.”

 

Harry smiled and handed Louis a plate, before taking a seat on the sofa next to him. 

 

Halfway through the film, Harry was completely relaxed, situated in one corner of the sofa, Louis’ socked feet in his lap and his own feet crossed on top of the coffee table. So, it took him by surprise when Louis suddenly hit the pause button on the remote. He immediately turned to ask if the other man needed a wee break or another beer, but Louis spoke first.

 

“You play guitar?” he asked.

 

Harry glanced at his old caramel colored Gibson guitar standing in one corner of the room. “I do.”

 

“Play me a song,” Louis pleaded.

 

“No, we’re in the middle of a film.”

 

“Please?” Louis asked again.

 

“No,” Harry said, his voice firm. He never played in front of anyone, not even his sister.

 

Louis raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. Do you sing? Or write songs?”

 

“A little bit. It’s just something I do for fun. I don’t, like, perform for an audience or anything.”

 

Louis nodded. Harry thought the other man wanted to say something more, but changed his mind.

 

“Are you going to press play or what?” Harry finally asked.

 

“I’ll press play, but since you won’t play guitar for me, I’m going to have to take my socks off.”

 

Harry gasped. “No! You are NOT taking off your socks. I do not want that smell in my lap and I certainly don’t have a foot fetish!”

 

“Too late,” Louis said, as he pulled off the first sock, followed by the other one. He propped his bare feet up in Harry’s lap.

 

To be fair, Louis’ feet didn’t smell bad at all, but Harry would never say that to him. It would be admitting defeat. So instead, his instinct was to tickle the bottoms of the other man’s feet. Revenge was truly sweet when Louis started flailing and screaming. It didn’t last long, however, once Louis was sitting up and lunging toward Harry’s midsection. Soon, it was Harry who was flailing as they both laughed uncontrollably.

 

“Stop!” Harry yelled, his sides already hurting from the tickle torture. “Stop!”

 

The tickling stopped just like that and Louis’ face was frozen in a smile mere centimeters from Harry’s own grinning face. Slowly, Harry watched the other man’s smile fade and the look of amusement in his blue eyes changed into something entirely different. Harry felt his tongue lick the top of his lower lip in what was surely anticipation, yet somehow completely out of his control. Louis was leaning closer, closer, and suddenly Harry’s breath caught in his throat.

 

Then just as suddenly his eyes were closing and warm lips pressed into his own. He kissed back, his body set on automatic, despite it having been nearly a decade since he had last shared this type of intimacy with another man. It didn’t last long, only a fleeting moment really, and soon Harry’s eyes flitted open again only to see Louis’ doing the same. 

 

They stared at one another for just a moment before their lips came crashing back together. This time it was filled with passion, almost as if they couldn’t survive if not connected to one another. Louis climbed onto Harry’s lap and straddled him, fingers tangled up in curls, and Harry felt a growing tightness in his pants. He never thought he’d meet another person who could do that to him again. He feared his days of true sexual attraction were long over, destroyed by another, but clearly he had been wrong, because that was exactly what he was feeling now. He reached out and wrapped an arm around Louis’ back pulling him closer. Their tongues met for the first time and all of Harry’s senses seemed to fire at once. It felt amazing. Until it didn’t.

 

Louis pressed his fingers hard into Harry’s back and it all came rushing back. Harry pushed on Louis’ chest with his hands until the other man got up and off his lap. “Stop,” Harry said. “Please, stop.”

 

The man staring back at him looked confused. “Sorry, am I moving too fast? We can slow down.”

 

Harry shook his head. “Lou, I can’t do this.”

 

“This,” Louis repeated, “meaning?”

 

“Any of it,” Harry said. “I just can’t.”

 

It broke his heart to see the quick flash of pain that crossed Louis’ face. He didn’t understand. Why would he?

 

“H, we can take it slow if this makes you uncomfortable,” Louis pleaded. “Just, I thought you wanted this too.”

 

Harry didn’t know how to respond. He did want it. He longed for it. Yet, the fear creeping into his mind told him something entirely different. He finally settled on a simple shake of his head.

 

“Okay.” Louis’ voice was barely above a whisper and full of emotion. “Is this you trying to be professional?

 

“Definitely not,” Harry answered.

 

“Is it because of the stress you’ve been under?”

 

“No.”

 

“I don’t understand. Do you just not feel the same way?”

 

Harry looked at the floor. “Lou, just stop. Please.”

 

“Please?” Louis echoed. “We can just be mates you know. We don’t have to be anything more, or we can see where it leads somewhere down the road...”

 

“Lou.” Harry put on a stern face. “Please?”

 

“Are you asking me to leave?” Louis’ voice nearly broke and Harry felt his own chest clench.

 

“Yes,” he whispered, afraid that if he spoke louder Louis would hear the emotion in his voice too.

 

Louis spoke not another word. He simply grabbed his shoes, leaving his socks strewn on the floor, and walked out the front door. He didn’t slam it shut as Harry had expected. It clicked gently and he was gone, and Harry felt like the shittiest person on the planet. He leaned his forehead against the back of the front door and tried to convince himself that he had made the right decision.

 

******************

 

Louis stomped through the front door of the pub and toward the stairs that led up to his room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Niall do a double take behind the bar, clearly taking notice of Louis’ sour mood. He didn’t stop though, because all he wanted was to be alone. Quite the irony for a man who usually couldn’t stand to be by himself for longer than five minutes.

 

The moment the door shut behind him he stripped off his clothes and stepped in the shower. He let the steaming water run over him, hoping it would wash away the memories of the previous few hours. Over the years he had known pain. Years of endless partying, lying, and hiding had taken its toll on him. He thought he had hardened up; thought he couldn’t be hurt anymore. Thought he couldn’t cry. Yet, just like when he confessed to his mother that morning, Louis found himself once again in tears, but this time it wasn’t relief that he felt, but hurt. He wept into the palms of his hands as the water washed over his backside. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what he did wrong. He just knew that he had lost something he hadn’t fully realized had meant so much to him.

 

After his shower, he pulled on a pair of boxers and slipped into bed. Luna curled up next to him and purred herself to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come for Louis, so he turned on the telly and stared at some documentary about early automobiles, completely unaware of what the narrator was saying. A knock on his door, brought him back to reality.

 

“Tommo, you up?”

 

“Go away Niall!” he shouted back.

 

“I brought booze.”

 

Louis dragged himself out of bed, not bothering to put any trousers on. He opened the door and Niall handed him a bottle of scotch and two glasses. “Seems like you might be wantin’ to get pissed. Thought I’d help you out.”

 

“Thanks,” Louis added, placing the glasses down on a table and pouring them each a drink. Louis made a face as the first swallow of liquor burned going down.

 

Niall sat down on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it Nialler,” Louis replied sitting down beside the Irishman.

 

“You kissed him, didn’t you?”

 

Louis’ eyes widened. “How did you know? Did you talk to Harry?”

 

Niall shook his head. “No, I just know Harry. He doesn’t kiss anyone. He doesn’t date anyone. I’ve even wondered if he might be asexual, until he met you.”

 

“What did you see after he met me?”

 

“I saw two men clearly falling for one another. You both have been about as subtle as kick in the face.”

 

Louis blushed. “That obvious, yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Niall said.

 

“He pushed me away, Nialler, and I don’t know why. He didn’t give me an explanation. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

 

“Chances are, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Niall squeezed Louis’ shoulder. “Maybe he needs time to work everything out. He has a lot on his plate right now.”

 

“I know,” Louis replied. “I even told him we can just be friends if that’s what he wants, but he asked me to leave. I get the impression he wants me gone, like from his life.”

 

“He’s crazy if that’s what he thinks he wants,” Niall answered, “because as far as I can see you’re the best thing that’s happened to him in a long time. I think there might be another underlying issue that he hasn’t even told me. 

 

Louis took another drink and stared into his glass. “So, what do you suggest?”

 

“Give him some space,” Niall said, “but also try to slowly earn his trust.”

 

 

The next ten days were miserable for Louis. Gone was the hot summer sun, and in its place June brought cool rainy days that required macs and wellies while filming and protective coverings for the cameras. To make matters worse, Harry avoided him like the plague. Whenever Louis got within eyesight of the reserve’s director, the other man would quickly slip away. Still, Louis continued to do his job and upload new videos regularly. Liam informed him that the videos continued to bring in more small donations and it was enough to keep the documentarian from calling it quits.

 

Finally, the day arrived for Harry’s big meeting with Clara Frost, the vice president of development at Cowell Corporation, and tension at the reserve was high. Even Sarah and Oliver, the interns who worked with Liam and Glenne, were on edge. Harry had decided to take Liam and Gemma along for the 1 pm meeting in London, and after everyone else finished up at the reserve for the day, they gathered around two tables at Niall’s pub waiting for news regarding the meeting. Louis and Niall, despite not being employed at the reserve, sat next to Zayn who was nervously biting his fingernails. 

 

It was nearly half four when Liam and Gemma walked in. One look at their faces said it all.

 

“Where’s Harry?” Zayn asked as they sat down at the table.

 

“I don’t know,” Gemma replied. “He dropped us off in the reserve car park and left.”

 

“How bad is it?” Jeff asked.

 

“Pretty bad,” Liam said. “Cowell Corp. wants Harry to come up with one and a half million pounds in two weeks to prove the reserve is financially secure enough to keep operating. Plus, they want him to sign a contract saying that he won’t stand in the way of them buying property near the reserve and building on it.”

 

“One and a half million pounds!” Niall exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous! This whole process can’t be legal.”

 

Louis shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. They’re a powerful corporation. There’s not much a small group can do to stop them. The authorities will just look the other way. That’s one thing I’ve definitely learned from the entertainment industry.”

 

“So what do we do now?” Zayn asked, eyes directed at his husband.

 

Liam shrugged. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do. How do we raise that kind of money in two weeks?”

No one had an answer, but suddenly Louis knew he had to do something.

 

“Zayn, what is Harry’s favorite candy?” Louis asked.

 

“What?” Zayn looked confused. “Why?”

 

“Just tell me,” Louis replied. “What’s his favorite candy?”

 

“Gummy bears,” Zayn answered, clearly wondering if Louis had even been listening to their conversation.

 

“Seriously?” Louis asked. “I thought it would be like chocolate or summat?”

 

“Seriously,” Zayn responded. “It’s gummy bears, but not the sour kind.”

 

“Okay, thanks.” Louis rose from his chair.

 

“Where are you going?” Niall asked.

 

“To Payne’s Candy Shoppe.”

 

Everyone looked at Louis as if he had two heads.

 

“And then I’m going to find Harry.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue. :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of past physical and sexual abuse, including rape. It's not overly graphic, but still if it's a trigger for you, please skip over it, or read with extreme caution.

Dark clouds drifted over head and Harry wondered if they would soon begin to dump more rain. It had been a challenge getting back to the clearing with his pick-up when the path was full of mud and standing water. He managed to make it without getting stuck, however, and now he sat in the bed of the truck, his legs hanging over the open tailgate.

 

It had taken Harry all of thirty seconds to realize that Clara Frost’s last name also referred to her frosty heart. She was a dedicated business woman, no doubt, but she seemed to hold little empathy for Harry, Gemma, or Liam, and definitely cared even less about the fate of the reserve. No matter what argument the three of them made about the importance of the reserve’s existence, Clara shut them down. Once she laid out their options, it was all over. Harry had been glad he was sitting down in the large conference room at that moment, or he was certain he would’ve fainted on the spot. Liam and Gemma both tried to argue how unfair the terms were, but Harry sat silent, completely stunned and heartbroken. He had accepted the director role at the reserve more than three years ago and all he did with his position was destroy it. He had let Dr. Gregory, his mentor, down. He had let the other employees and volunteers down. Most importantly, he had let all the creatures down. That hurt the most, he thought.

 

He kept telling himself that it was for the best. The endangered species would be transported to other conservation areas. His employees could move on to better paying jobs in bigger cities. Louis would leave and would certainly drop another hit documentary from a far off land. That just left Harry. What would he do? He could put his home up for sale and go back to school maybe, or he could just ask Niall for a bartending job, although he’d likely fail at that too with his clumsy nature. No matter what he imagined, it never equaled the happiness he felt while walking the grounds of the reserve; interacting with the animals; watching the way that a child’s eyes would light up at the sight of a crane or a garden filled with butterflies; working side-by-side with his closest friends. It felt like an anvil was weighing down his heart and before long it would just stop beating altogether. 

 

“Think fast!” Harry whipped around to the sound of the voice coming from his right, only to see something flying at him. He miraculously caught the object in question and looked down to see a sack full of gummy bears. Then glancing up he saw Louis walking slowly toward him.

 

“Louis, what are you doing here?”

 

“Looking for you,” Louis replied. His tone sounded as if Harry had asked the most ignorant question in all of history. “You said this is where you go when you need to find some perspective, so I figured it was as good a place as any to look.”

 

“What are these for?” He held up the sack of candy.

 

Louis smirked. “When I’m having a really awful day I like to eat my weight in sugar. Thought maybe they would help a li’l bit.”

 

“How did you know gummy bears are my favorite?” 

 

“Zayn.”

 

Harry cracked a small smile. “Of course.”

 

“Can I sit here?” Louis asked once he reached the truck. Harry scooted over to give Louis room to sit next to him.

 

“H, I have something else for you,” he said, reaching into one of his back jeans’ pockets and pulling out a folded piece of paper.

 

Harry unfolded it and gasped at the realization of what he was holding. In his hands was a cheque written to the reserve for 1.5 million pounds. It was from Louis’ personal account.

 

Tears filled his eyes at the kind gesture, yet he knew he could never accept the offer. “Lou, I can’t take this.”

 

“Yes, you can,” Louis said.

 

“No, I can’t. You need this money for your own expenses and I’d never be able to pay you back.”

 

“I’m fine and I would never expect you to pay me back. It’s a gift for charity. Please take it,” Louis insisted. 

 

Harry shook his head. “Even if I take the money, Louis, I still have to allow Cowell Corporation to purchase the land nearby where they’ll build a pesticide factory. Who knows how dangerous that could be for the reserve and maybe even for the people living or working nearby. I can’t support that. I would rather have to say goodbye to this place than put the animals here at risk.” Harry held the cheque back out to Louis. “Here. I can’t take it, but it means a lot that you offered.”

 

A look of sadness filled Louis’ face as he accepted the cheque back. “I wish you would keep it, but I understand.”

 

They sat quiet for a long while and Harry realized that it wasn’t uncomfortable, the silence, despite the fact they hadn’t spoken in nearly two weeks, since the night where Harry panicked and pushed the other man away. He still felt guilty about the way he had acted that night and how he had avoided Louis every day since.

 

“Lou,” Harry started, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about that night and my behavior toward you afterward.”

 

Louis turned to look at him, a tender look on his face. “It’s okay, H.”

 

“No, it’s not,” Harry argued. “I’m shit at explaining things and I should have told you immediately that I’m not prepared for a relationship—or sex for that matter—with someone right now. It’s hard to explain, but I’m sorry.”

 

“Someone hurt you, didn’t they?” Louis said, his voice soft and his eyes fixed on Harry.

 

“Yes,” Harry whispered.

 

“And it wasn’t just a broken heart was it?” 

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Were you a child?” Louis asked tentatively.

 

“I was legally an adult. Barely,” Harry said. “But no, I wasn’t a young child.”

 

“A boyfriend?” 

 

Harry nodded before taking in a long deep breath. “I’ve never talked about it before. Not even to Zayn or Gemma.”

 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me anything,” Louis reassured. 

 

Harry cracked his knuckles, unsure of whether he should finally open up about his past to someone. He had held it in for nearly a decade and had gotten used to it being hidden deep inside him. “I loved him,” he finally said. “I had just turned nineteen when we met at uni. He was two years older than me and came from a prominent family of doctors. He was going to be a doctor too. He was brilliantly smart, and he tutored kids, and he got on with all my mates, and he just seemed perfect. We loved being together, had a lot in common, and the sex was great. It was amazing. For the first few months.”

 

“And then what?”

 

“Then he just started to change. We were spending almost all of our free time together. I slept at his flat most nights and things were getting pretty serious between us. We started to have some little arguments about petty things, and at first we would make up and forget the arguments happened, but one day I was really upset. I responded sarcastically to something he said and then he just slapped me in the face. Like really hard. So hard it left a small mark for a few days. I convinced myself that I had deserved it and that it was probably just a one time thing.”

 

“But it wasn’t.”

 

“No. It slowly got worse. When we would argue he would shove me and hold me against a wall. One time he punched me in the face because I didn’t want to shag that night. I started skipping classes because of bruises on my face or arms. I became more and more scared of him, but I was scared to leave him too.”

 

Harry paused and took in a shuddery breath. He felt a hand gently settle on his knee in support and Harry’s eyes closed briefly at the touch before he continued. 

 

“Um—,” his voice quivered, “so one night we had an argument over something stupid and I ended up apologizing like I always did. It was always me, never him, and that night he initiated make-up sex. And—um—I was on my hands and knees on the bed and he—um—he,” Harry’s voice broke and the first tear fell down his cheek. Smooth fingers wiped it away, yet Harry couldn’t bring himself to look into the eyes of the man who sat next to him, comforting him.

 

Louis cleared his throat. “Harry, was it consensual?” 

 

Harry nodded. “It was...at first.”

 

“At first?” Louis repeated.

 

Harry reached down deep for the strength to finish the account. “I can’t talk about the details, Lou. I can’t...but it got to the point that I was yelling for him to stop and he wouldn’t. Not until he finished and I was bleeding.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” he heard Louis whisper so close. “Tell me you called the authorities.”

 

Harry shook his head. “I was too scared, and I thought I loved him, and I blamed myself.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?” Louis asked, leaning down so his blue eyes met Harry’s green ones in the last moments of daylight. 

 

“I know,” Harry reassured him. “It took me a long time to realize that, but I know that now.”

 

“How long were you with him after this happened?”

 

“Only a few weeks,” Harry answered. “He found another toy to play with and dropped me like a hot potato. A few months later a female student had him arrested for beating her up while he was pissed after a party. He served about six months for that and I transferred schools while he was incarcerated. I don’t know what happened to him after that.”

 

“He should’ve been in prison for years,” Louis stated and Harry could only nod in agreement. 

 

“I spent the rest of my uni years mostly alone in my flat. I focused on my studies and didn’t make many friends. I picked up guitar and songwriting as a way of expressing my feelings. I dated no one. In fact, I haven’t been with anyone since and really thought I never would want to be again.”

 

It was hard to read the expression on Louis’ face at Harry’s admission. Harry thought he saw understanding, but also perhaps disappointment. Harry wanted to touch him. He wanted to feel the warmth of his lips again. Mostly he just wanted to bury himself into the other man’s chest and cry. Yet, deep down he was still scarred and not willing to risk his heart, or his body, again.

 

“You made me second guess that, and you’re the only one over all the years who has done that,” said Harry, “but I just don’t think I can move on. I don’t know if I ever will and I think I might be okay with that. I’m just scared that I’ll let my guard down and get hurt again.”

 

Louis nodded, his eyes a bit glassy. “Can we still be mates?”

 

Harry smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

“Okay, as long as you don’t shut me out of your life completely then I can live with just being friends,” Louis said, sliding down off of the tailgate to stand on the grass. “I best be getting back. I was thinking about going to see me sister in Manchester tomorrow.”

“I could drive you back to your car,” Harry offered.

 

“No, I’ve got it, but thanks anyway.”

 

“Goodnight, Lou,” Harry said with a wave. “Thanks for listening...and for the gummy bears.”

 

“Night, Harry,” Louis replied as he made his way toward the dirt path. He turned around one last time to face Harry. “For the record,” he said. Harry could hear his emotion. “I would never hurt you.”

 

*******************

“I’m actually considering searching for another job,” Zayn said gloomily.

 

Louis propped his elbow on the top of the bar and leaned the side of his face into his palm while using the back of his other hand to hide a yawn. He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before after learning about Harry’s past abuse and the situation with the reserve. Now his eyelids felt like lead and he feared he may fall asleep right in the middle of his conversation with Zayn and Niall. Lottie, his sister, had canceled their dinner plans because of a work obligation, and while Louis missed her, he was thankful he wouldn’t have to drive while barely being able to keep his eyes open.

 

It was mid-day Saturday and the pub had only opened one hour earlier. There were a few people milling around at the pool table in the corner, but otherwise it was mostly empty. Niall was in and out of the conversation as he stocked a new shipment of liquor that arrived a few hours earlier. Zayn looked like he barely slept more than Louis, and he looked utterly heartbroken at the prospect of losing his job and being forced to move elsewhere.

 

“Do you think Harry’s okay?” He asked Louis before taking a swig of his beer.

 

“I think he’s handling it the best that he can,” Louis said. “He’s stronger than he knows.”

 

“I just wish there was something we could do,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“Louis Tomlinson!” a voice rang out behind them. “I had heard rumors you were in the area, but didn’t believe it to be true.” 

 

Louis spun the bar stool around only for his eyes to fall on a long forgotten face.

 

“Nick Grimshaw.” he answered. “I never thought I’d see your ugly mug again to be quite honest.”

 

The other man laughed. “Ditto, well outside of the tabloids anyway.”

 

“Grimmy!” Niall called as he noticed the other man for the first time. “Long time no see! How ya been, mate?”

 

“Not bad. Yourself?”

 

“Been better honestly, but let’s not get into that,” Niall answered. “So how do you and Tommo know one another?”

 

“Nick interviewed me a few times back when he was at Radio One,” Louis replied. “Why did you leave there anyway?”

 

“I’ll just say I had some creative differences with the management,” Nick responded.

 

“Now Nick runs a small commercial radio station nearby,” Niall explained to Louis.

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yes, it’s mostly just area news and easy listening music,” Nick said as he sat down next to Louis.

 

They had been chatting for a little while when Louis had an epiphany. “Nick, would it be possible to get an interview on your station this week? It would be for an important cause.”

 

“I could probably fit you in one morning this week.”

 

“That would be incredible.”

 

Wednesday morning, Louis and Liam arrived at the reserve after giving an interview on Nick Grimshaw’s morning talk show. During the interview, they spoke about the reserve’s future and about the threat it was under from a large potentially dangerous corporation (without mentioning the company by name), as well as urged listeners to view Louis’ videos on his website where donation links were located. They, along with Zayn and Niall, made the decision to not immediately tell Harry about the interview in case it failed miserably. On top of the interview, Louis got in contact with his old friend James Corden, a popular comedian in the UK. James tweeted a link to Louis’ website and encouraged people to donate to the reserve.

 

Louis was happy to be on good terms with Harry again, even if it was difficult to keep his feelings for the reserve’s director in check. They had eaten lunch together each of the first three days of the week and Louis itched to tell Harry about his last ditch efforts at saving the reserve, but thought it best not to say anything just yet. Louis could see how much the situation was taking a toll on Harry, both physically and emotionally. He clearly wasn’t sleeping, and was barely eating, which only reinforced the importance of finding a way to get the reserve out of debt and somehow get rid of Cowell Corp. once and for all. 

 

Louis spent Wednesday afternoon filming Jeff’s on-sight treatment of an ill baby brown hare; an important task with the number of brown hares in rapid decline across the nation. Jeff, as well as one of the interns, had been keeping a close eye on the drove of hares since the mother was spotted to be noticeably pregnant. One of the four babies had already not survived the birth one week earlier. Two were doing well but the smallest of the trio had taken a turn for the worse that morning. There was no way of knowing if the baby would make it, but Jeff seemed determined to give it the best shot he could with injectible medication. If the baby hare didn’t improve, or was worse, in 24 hours, it would be taken back to the clinic and be hand-reared from there. 

 

Afterward, Louis drove back to the pub, in need of a warm shower. As soon as he walked inside the building Niall came bounding toward him, not unlike a baby hare himself.

 

“Did you see, Tommo?” he exclaimed. “Did you see?”

 

“See what?” Louis replied.

 

“Your web page you wanker!” Niall smacked him on the shoulder.

 

“Oh!” Louis had been so wrapped up in his job that afternoon that he had forgotten to check it. “No, I was too busy today. Please tell me it’s good news.”

 

“Check for yourself.” Niall handed his phone to Louis.

 

Louis looked at the screen and his eyes grew wide. The views on his videos had went from around ten thousand to nearly one hundred thousand on average. 

 

“What about donations?” he asked Niall.

 

“We’re at almost seventy-five thousand pounds,” he answered with a large grin. “Hell, that’s in less than twelve hours!”

 

Louis felt a surge of pride rush through his entire body. His heart swelled, but his brain kept telling him it wasn’t enough. “That’s fucking amazing, but we have to do better, Nialler. We’re still a long way from the goal.”

 

Niall’s smile faded a little. “I know. You’re right.”

 

“We need to keep getting the word out there.”

 

“I’ve been telling everyone who comes in here, offering a discount if they donate something.”

 

“I’m going to call Liam and see if we can’t brainstorm some more ways to get this info on more social media platforms. We need this to go viral all over the web if we’re going to raise enough, and on top of that we have to find a way to get Cowell Corporation to not buy that property near the reserve.”

 

“Vanessa might have some connections too,” Niall added.

 

Louis furrowed his brows. “Who’s Vanessa?”

 

“You know,” Niall replied, “she’s the girl who was staring at you the first time you ever got a drink here. We’ve went out twice since then and I’m taking her out again on Sunday.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Louis smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

 

“Thanks, mate.” Niall said. “Vanessa is the daughter of a famous attorney in London and she’s in law school herself. She might be able to find some kind of legal loophole or something.”

 

“Well, it couldn’t hurt to have someone like her looking into the situation.”

 

************

“I don’t understand how a government appointed conservation council could allow something like this to happen.” Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose with the hand that wasn’t clutching his office phone.

 

“Mr. Styles, the Norfolk Wildlife Reserve is operating at over a one million pound deficit, and has been operating with a deficit for most of the years of its existence,” the stuffy old man on the other line replied. “We wish the government could fully fund it, however, as you know all of the nature reserves in the United Kingdom rely on outside donors too. Several of them are operating on a deficit and are in potential danger of having their wildlife trusts taken away. If you don’t want to lose yours then you have to come up with enough funds to get the reserve out of the red. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes,” Harry solemnly replied. “What about Cowell Corporation? If I come up with the funds will it be possible to keep them from purchasing the land nearby?”

 

“It’s unlikely,” the man said. “Mr. Cowell is a powerful businessman. If he wants something bad enough he usually gets it.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Harry concluded. “Thanks, Mr. Chandler, for speaking with me.”

 

“My pleasure,” the man replied. “And Mr. Styles, our hands are tied on this end too, however, I wish you luck and hope you find a way to raise the funds you need.”

 

“Thank you,” Harry replied. They exchanged goodbyes and Harry hung up the phone. He tried to rub away the ache behind his temples with no success. One week was all he had left to try to save the reserve and at this point he was tempted to call it quits. But he wouldn’t, because he loved the place too damn much. He had asked Liam for a list of local businesses that might be willing to donate. Payne’s Candy Shoppe had donated as much as they could, as well as Potter’s Pub of course. There were already some businesses that were annual donors. Perhaps they would be willing to donate a little more if they understood the dire situation. He was just about to ring a local construction business when there was a knock at his office door.

 

“Come in,” he called out.

 

The door creaked open and Louis stepped inside, a laptop open in his hands. Harry couldn’t help but notice how the other man’s royal blue shirt made the blue of his eyes look even more intense than usual.

 

“Hi,” Louis said. “I’m not interrupting anything important am I?”

 

“Nothing that can’t wait a little while,” Harry replied. 

 

“Good, because there’s something I need to show you.” Louis walked to the chair on the other side of Harry’s desk and sat down. He turned the laptop around and slid it across the desk.

 

Harry immediately recognized Louis’ website, but at the top was a link to a new donation page for the reserve.

 

“Click on the link,” Louis directed him.

 

He did as told and it took him a moment to grasp what he was seeing. Once he did his breath hitched. The page said they had met twenty one percent of a one and half million pound goal. He looked up at Louis who was clearly studying his reaction. “How?”

 

“Liam and I did a radio interview with an old mate of mine and we’ve been trying to spread the word other ways too. I still have a few connections in entertainment and I intend to use them.”

 

“Lou, thank you, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful but even with the donations I’ve counted on my end we’re likely only at one quarter of the goal. Plus, there’s not any way to keep Cowell Corp. from buying nearby. We only have a week.”

 

“I know, but I just got a call from BBC News. They want to do a television interview with me about the reserve’s battle on Monday. I want you to do the interview with me. I know that’s not really your thing, but I think having the reserve’s director on the show is an important way to prove how dire the situation is right now. Plus, Liam is going to do an impromptu fundraiser that day here in town, so he’ll be tied up with that.”

 

Harry froze for a moment. An interview, on national television, was one of the scariest situations Harry could imagine putting himself in, but then he looked across his desk at the expectant look on Louis’ face and remembered that the man sitting across from him didn’t have to do this at all. He wasn’t employed by Harry, didn’t have his life’s work tied up in this place, but yet there he was working his arse off to help them.

 

He sighed. “Okay, I’ll do it. We’ve got nothing to lose, yeah?”

 

Louis smiled. “We’re not going to lose.”

 

 

The weekend flew by with Harry cooped up in his office making phone calls and trying to hatch a plan to convince Cowell Corporation to build elsewhere. Soon it was Monday morning and he was pacing the green room at BBC News. Louis, looking handsome in a navy blue suit and red tie, sat on a black sofa eating a few grapes, but stood once an intern came in to tell them they had five minutes until showtime.

 

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Harry said, placing a palm on his stomach.

 

“No, you’re not,” Louis replied, making final adjustments to Harry’s crooked tie. “You’re going to be fine. I can do most of the talking if you want, but I don’t have all the specific information that you have about the reserve, so you may have to add a little bit to what I say, okay?”

 

Harry nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

 

Twenty minutes later it was over. Harry had teared up during the interview, embarrassing for him, but Louis assured him that viewers would latch on to his raw emotion. They wouldn’t know how Louis’ pinky finger was latched on to Harry’s under the table during the whole thing.

 

By ten o’clock Monday night the donation total reached almost nine hundred thousand pounds and it looked like they might have a chance. The rest of the week they all worked long hours pushing for more donations. There were more radio interviews, more impromptu fundraisers across Norfolk, social media campaigns, and Louis even put up a brilliantly edited video asking for more donations. On Thursday afternoon they all gathered in Harry’s office, Niall included, for one final discussion before Harry’s meeting with the government council and the heads of Cowell Corporation the next morning in London. The sadness in the room was palpable.

 

“We’re three hundred thousand short,” Liam informed them all. “There’s no way we can raise that much by tomorrow morning.”

 

“I’ve tried to find any possible way to talk Cowell Corp. out of building here too, but I don’t think I have a convincing enough argument,” Harry added.

 

“We all did our best,” Gemma said. 

 

“Yeah, with nothing to show for it,” Zayn responded.

 

“That’s not true,” Louis argued. “There’s over one million pounds to show for it.”

 

“So, what now?” Niall asked.

 

“We beg?” Liam suggested.

 

“I’m not dropping to my knees to suck the cock of some wanker in a business suit,” Harry stated. “I might be down but I’ll never be that desperate.”

 

“Relax, Haz,” Zayn replied, “Nobody’s asking you to. Maybe it was just never meant to be, yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Harry answered, salty tears pressing against the back of his eyes. Deep down, however, he still believed something could be done, but what?

 

After everyone was gone for the evening, Harry was packing up the paperwork he would need for the meeting when Cora came in and handed him an envelope. 

 

“It came in the post, which is strange at this hour,” she told him, “and there’s no postcode on it. Just your name.”

 

“That is strange,” Harry agreed. Using the letter opener in his desk to unseal the envelope, he pulled a group of folded papers out and opened them.

 

His mind took a few moments to comprehend what was in the paperwork, but once he did his heart jumped into his throat.

 

“Bloody hell.”

 

***************

“Good luck,” Louis called out as Harry and Liam exited the car and headed inside for the meeting. He stifled a yawn and found a place to park before walking to a nearby coffee shop for an espresso.

 

The previous night had been a long one. Louis was supposed to drive Harry and Liam to London after dinner so they could stay at Louis’ for the night. Instead, what happened was Harry texting everyone to meet him at the pub at seven o’clock. Louis couldn’t fathom why they were meeting again when there was nothing left they could do, but when Harry unfolded the papers on the table in front of him, he was left with his mouth gaping wide open. 

 

The paperwork had revealed that Cowell Corporation had been penalized by the government for pesticide levels that exceeded legal limits in multiple ponds and streams located within two kilometers of two of their factories. One of the ponds was on Cowell Corp. property. The others were privately owned and not in vicinity of farms that would use pesticides. The source of the pesticides would be harder to prove in moving streams, but all signs pointed toward the same place. The first warning against the company had come three years earlier. A second warning was issued almost one year ago and the last one was only four months ago, resulting in a sizable fine. They looked over the paperwork time and time again, even faxing it to Vanessa and her attorney father for verification that it was real. This was the type of evidence Harry could use against Cowell Corporation, because it would prove the dangers of having a pesticide factory so close to the reserve. That was, of course, if Harry could convince the council to allow the reserve to remain in existence, which wouldn’t be an easy task without the last three hundred thousand pounds needed to pay off the debt. 

 

It had all ended with the trio arriving at Louis’ London home around two in the morning, both nervous and exhausted. The odds were still slim, but there was hope.

 

Fifteen minutes into his coffee and croissant, Louis’ phone buzzed. It couldn’t possibly be Harry or Liam calling to say the meeting was already over and if it was then the news couldn’t be good. One glance at his screen and he saw it was Zayn. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Louis, I tried texting Liam and Harry but neither have responded. Something big happened and they need to know now. Do you know where their meeting is and could you get there soon?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis stood up, brushing a few crumbs off his maroon oxford shirt. “I’m only a block from the building. What happened?” He threw his leftovers in a nearby bin and was soon rushing down the street.

 

“Reynolds Oil, based in Scotland, have been looking to get involved in helping to protect the environment in the UK.”

 

“An oil company?” Louis wasn’t sure he believed what he was hearing.

 

“Yes, I know it sounds bizarre, but hear me out,” Zayn said.

 

“They heard about our plight and want to give the reserve the three hundred thousand pounds needed to pay our debt, and then they want to buy the land that Cowell Corporation have been trying to purchase and they want to donate it to the reserve, which would double the size of it!”

 

“What? Are you serious, because bloody hell, Z, that’s incredible!” Louis exclaimed. 

 

“Yes, and they want to donate more money over the next ten years to help with the expansion and operation of the reserve,” Zayn added.

 

“Do you have proof? I’m going to need it if I’m crashing that meeting in two minutes.”

 

“Yep, it’s all in writing. Cora is texting it to you right now.”

 

“Thanks! Let’s just hope I’m not too late.” Louis sprinted into the building and asked the attendant which floor he needed.

 

He pulled up the information on his phone as he rode the elevator to the 28th floor. A young female receptionist looked up immediately.

 

“May I help you?” 

 

“Hello, I am late for the meeting with Cowell Corporation and Norfolk Reserve. Could you point me in the right direction?”

 

The woman looked Louis up and down, clearly not convinced by his casual attire. At least he had the forethought to style his hair that morning. 

 

“Look, love, it’s an emergency. I have important information that I need to get to me ma—,” he paused to correct himself, “um, my co-workers.” He flashed a megawatt smile her direction. If there was one thing he learned while lying his way through ten years of fame it would be if you ever need to butter someone up, just give them your best smile. It worked. Most of the time.

 

“Okay,” the woman said, sounding defeated. “Follow me.”

 

They walked down a long corridor until they reached a conference room that was completely made of glass walls. Louis’ arrival would be no surprise, because everyone in the room had already seen him approaching with the receptionist. The door opened and a squat looking woman with brown hair pulled into a tight bun spoke quietly with the receptionist. Louis’ stomach churned. Maybe this was what Harry was feeling when they did their television interview a few short days earlier? Typically Louis loved attention, but suddenly he felt very small with so many eyes on him. 

 

The woman with the bun finally ushered him inside the room and he apologized for interrupting the meeting before introducing himself to the council and to Clara Frost, a middle aged woman with shoulder length salt-and-pepper hair and black horn-rimmed glasses, as well as Mr. Cowell himself, a smug looking man who reminded him of so many of the types he’d dealt with in the entertainment industry over the years. The man hadn’t even bothered to wear a suit to the meeting. He was dressed in a plain v-neck tee shirt and dark jeans. Certainly overconfidence would be his downfall someday. Hopefully today. 

 

For just a split second, Louis’ eyes met Harry’s and he could tell the other man was trying to keep his cool in an uncomfortable situation. Spread out on the large oval table was the anonymous information Harry received the previous day, as well as something that looked like blueprints for a large building. Clearly, Louis had walked in at a pivotal time.

 

“I’m aware of who you are Mr. Tomlinson,” Mr. Cowell addressed him. “What I want to know is why you are interrupting a meeting you were not invited to and have no financial interest in?”

 

Louis gulped. The man was intimidating, he’d give him that, but it wasn’t the first time Louis had been in this sort of situation and he would not let a narcissistic sixty year old man push him around. He had done that far too many times over the past ten years. He stared the man down and Louis detected a hint of panic in the CEO’s eyes.

 

Ignoring Cowell, he then turned to the council instead. “I’ve received some important information.” He handed his phone to Mr. Chandler, sitting in the middle of the five person council.

 

The man’s eyes got bigger as he read the official letter from Reynolds Oil. He passed the information to each of his colleagues. 

 

“What is going on?” Mr. Cowell demanded. 

 

Harry and Liam were both looking at Louis, confusion on their faces. He gave them each a hint of a smile before turning his eyes back to the council.

 

“According to the letter here, Reynolds Oil wants to invest a significant amount of money in Norfolk Wildlife Reserve, Mr. Cowell, including the purchase of the same piece of property you have your eyes set on.”

 

Louis watched as Liam nearly choked on his water and Harry’s eyes almost bulged out of his head. He had to stifle a laugh at the sight, and even more so at the sight of Mr. Cowell’s angry purple face.

 

“We’ll check with Reynolds Oil to make sure the debt is paid and their plans are legit, as well as double check the validity of the pesticide level information Mr. Styles presented. If everything checks out, then we have no choice but to allow the Norfolk Wildlife Reserve to keep their Wildlife Trust and continue functioning as a vital part of the United Kingdom’s conservation effort,” Mr. Chandler explained.

 

Louis pumped his fist and Harry and Liam both let out a simultaneous gasp.

 

“You’ll regret this,” Mr. Cowell snapped at the council. “Our factory would have brought millions of dollars to the area, instead you’re wasting government money and perfectly good land on a bunch of plants and animals.”

 

“With respect, Mr. Cowell,” the woman with the tight bun replied, “the reserve already had their trust in place and we do not intend to take away an important government program without sound reason for it. You can build your factory somewhere else.”

 

Mr. Cowell stood up and stomped out of the room. Ms. Frost moved to follow, however, just before she reached the door she turned to Louis, Harry, and Liam and gave a quick wink. 

 

“I think we know who sent the pesticide information now,” Liam chuckled.

 

“I’d have never guessed that,” Harry added in amazement.

 

They shook each of the council members’ hands before they exited the room. Mr. Chandler, in particular, was beaming. 

 

Liam and Harry hugged, followed by Liam and Louis, and then when it was Louis and Harry’s turn, Louis heard Harry whisper in his ear. “Thank you so much.”

 

“Anything for you,” Louis replied.

 

*********************

The first few weeks following the council’s decision were chaotic. There were meetings with Reynolds Oil, as well as final conversations with Clara Frost, who at Cowell’s command tried to make a counteroffer that would keep the reserve open, but allow Cowell Corp. to still build on the other parcel of land. Harry could tell her heart wasn’t in those phone calls and he was silently grateful for that. There were also the shuffling of positions at the reserve, something Harry felt would lead to long-term success.

 

Meanwhile, Louis finished up the last of his video series. He recorded a thank you video to those who had financially supported the reserve, as well as helped to spread the word of their situation. He excitedly told them about what was to come in the future. He filmed the release of Spike, the hedgehog amputee, back into the wild, which garnered several hundred thousand views and cheers from around the globe. Harry thought Louis may have shed a tear as he watched the little fella hobble off slowly on three legs. 

 

With all of the changes being made, Harry’s time with Louis had been minimal. A lunch here, a beer with the lads at the pub there, and Harry had the distinct feeling that Louis was trying to subtly distance himself from the reserve director. He wasn’t sure of much, but he was sure he didn’t want that to happen.

 

Exactly three weeks after the fateful decision was made, Harry made his way inside of Potter’s Pub, gave Niall a quick wave, and climbed the stairs, before knocking on the door at the end of the hallway. 

 

“Come in!” he heard from inside.

 

He opened the door and slowly stepped inside, softly closing the door behind him. The usually messy room was neat and a familiar form stood at the foot of the bed, slowly folding and packing clothes into a suitcase. Luna lay sleeping inside an animal carrier box on the floor. Harry’s heart beat erratically at the sight.

 

“You’re leaving?” he managed to choke out.

 

Louis turned around, gave Harry the once over, and nodded. “I don’t think there’s anything left for me to do here anymore,” he said quietly. “I’m finished with my documentaries of the reserve and, as you’re well aware, the fight to save it is over.”

 

“What will you do?”

 

“I was offered a job covering the effect of an ongoing forest fire on the wildlife at Yosemite National Park in California. Thought it sounded interesting.”

 

“It sounds dangerous,” Harry stated.

 

“Never stopped me before. Why should it now?”

 

Louis wasn’t lying about that and Harry knew it. He had faced more ominous threats than a forest fire while filming in Africa and other places. Yet, the thought of Louis anywhere near something so unpredictable and deadly already set Harry’s nerves into a tizzy.

 

Louis turned back around to his packing and an awkward silence fell on the room. It was a few minutes before anyone spoke again.

 

“I’m stepping down as director at the reserve,” Harry said.

 

Louis turned only his head to glance over his shoulder in Harry’s direction.

 

“I talked the council into offering Liam the job. He’s more business minded than me and has experience from his family’s shop. The money from Reynolds Oil will allow us to hire a Director of Finances as well.”

 

“Who will be the new communications director?” Louis asked.

 

“I was hoping it would be you,” Harry replied, his heart jumping in his chest at the admission. Louis turned fully around to face him, clearly surprised.

 

“Harry...”

 

“Not permanently, Lou,” Harry added. “Just until we can get everything else worked out and hire someone more qualified for the job. Then you’d be free to leave, if that’s what you want.”

 

“What about you?” Louis questioned. “What will you be doing?”

 

“Floating around where needed,” Harry said, “while I work on my PhD.”

 

“You’re going to go for it, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, I think so. I was never meant to sit in an office all day. I need to be outside among the trees and the animals. That’s always been my calling.”

 

Louis nodded. “I think it’s a wise decision for you.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So, what if I say no to the job offer?” Louis asked tentatively. “What would you do?”

 

“I guess I would have to fill in until we hire someone else.”

 

Louis said nothing. He just went back to packing. Why was the silence so deafening, Harry wondered, as he stood there just staring at the back of Louis’ head. Every word from Louis felt singed with tension. Harry started to make a move toward the door as it was clear he was an unwanted guest. He froze at the sound of Louis’ voice.

 

“Tell me you want me to stay, Harry.” Louis stood still, his voice almost creepily monotone. “Tell me you need me here, and I’ll stay. I can’t promise I won’t leave for work projects, but I’ll make this place me home base. Just tell me that you really need me. That’s all I ask.”

 

Harry swallowed, probably loud enough for the entire pub to hear. His tongue was twisted and his heart was thumping so loud, it sounded like drums in his ears. His palms were sweating and he curled and uncurled his fists as his side. This didn’t sound like someone who wanted to be needed for just a job, and Harry knew deep down he wasn’t offering the job just because he thought Louis would excel at it.

 

Louis went back to packing, never looking at Harry, as if he were no longer in the room. The sight broke him.

 

“We want you here, Lou,” Harry said. “We _need_ you here. You’re a part of this place now. You fought for us, for the animals and the wilderness, for what was right. I think we misjudged you at first, me most of all, and you proved us all wrong, and you belong at the reserve, in some capacity. You’ll be missed dearly if you leave.”

 

Louis silently zipped up his suitcases, slid his phone in his back pocket and made his way toward the cat carrier, luggage in tow. 

 

Harry panicked.

 

“And I need you,” he blurted out, desperate for the other man to understand. “Here.” He placed his hand flat over his heart.

 

Louis stopped, his right hand on the handle of Luna’s carrier. His blue eyes met Harry’s stare and there was a glimmer of hope that sprung into Harry’s soul.

 

“I know I’m fucked up and I can promise you it won’t be easy,” Harry rambled, “but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, and if I let you walk out that door, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

 

Louis’ face slowly formed into a smile as he put his luggage down and took a step toward Harry. They were now only centimeters apart, so close that the smell of Louis’ cologne filled Harry's nostrils. It was intoxicating. 

 

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” Louis’ voice wavered with emotion.

 

Harry chuckled. “You know me. I’m shit at communicating.”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Louis asked. “I’ve been wanting to again for bloody forever.”

 

“No,” Harry answered. 

 

Louis’ eyes dropped, his face lowered.

 

“Because I want to kiss you first.” Harry reached out and gently guided Louis’ chin back up so that their eyes were once again locked on one another. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips just as gently against Louis’ own. The other man’s lips tasted of an oddly satisfying mix of cherry lip balm and gin and tonic. They were soft and warm and perfection as they pressed back and Harry didn’t want this to ever end. Yet, after only a couple of seconds, they parted, and Louis brought his right arm up and around Harry’s shoulder and his left arm wrapped around Harry’s back and he pulled the younger man into a tight embrace. Louis’ nose was nuzzled into the side of Harry’s neck, when Harry heard him whisper.

 

“Me too.” His breath felt warm against Harry’s skin. “If I had walked out that door I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life too.”

 

“Thank God you didn’t,” Harry smiled.

 

“Yeah,” Louis agreed. “and we can take this slow, okay? If that’s what you need.”

 

“Promise?” Harry asked, tears pooling behind his eyes.

 

“Promise,” Louis said, pulling away, he caressed Harry’s jaw with his hand. “I’ll never hurt you.”

 

Harry felt the tears fall. “So, this means you’re not going to California, right?”

 

Louis laughed.

 

“I’m staying right here.” He tapped his palm over Harry’s chest. “Where I belong.”


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's how it all ends.

5 months later

 

“Fuck, Harry, feels so good,” Louis’ voice was thick with pleasure as Harry moved slowly but steadily inside him.

 

“Lou, I’m so close,” Harry’s forehead fell on Louis’ shoulder. Louis’ left hand gently gripped Harry’s right bicep, his right hand pumped up and down around his own cock between their bodies. He was nearing his own climax as well.

 

“C’mon baby,” he breathed. “Come with me.”

 

Two more thrusts and Harry let out a series of scandalous moans that sent Louis over the edge right with him. Louis felt the arms of his lover start to quiver beneath his fingers before Harry fully collapsed on top of him, smearing warm white fluid across both of their abdomens. Louis officially ended their love making with a soft kiss to the younger man’s lips.

 

“I love you,” Harry murmured as he pulled out, slid off the condom, and disposed of it in the bin next to the bed. He cuddled into Louis’ side.

 

Louis smiled at the look of contentment on the other man’s face. “I love _you_.”

 

Harry yawned. “Morning sex is the best sex.”

 

“Ha!” Louis barked. “Yeah, for crazy morning people like you. Give me late night sex anytime.” He jokingly nudged Harry’s stomach with his elbow.

 

“Are you going Christmas shopping with me after work? Three days to finish it and I am not even close to done.” Louis asked, as he grabbed tissues from the bedside table to clean them both up enough to pull the duvet up over them without soiling it.

 

“I can’t,” Harry replied. “I see Dr. Singh today.”

 

After things had settled into a new routine at the reserve, Harry started seeing a psychiatrist at the end of the summer. It was something, he told Louis, he had considered doing many times over the years, but never had the courage to do it. Once they found the right doctor for him, he took Louis to his first few appointments, and by the end of the first month he was ready to do it on his own. It had been a lifesaver for them in this early part of their relationship. If they were having a bad week, Louis would join Harry on the sofa again, which was indeed therapeutic for them both. Louis was considering scheduling weekly appointments with Dr. Singh himself if he could find the time.

 

The physical part of their relationship moved very slow at first. Louis could still remember the first time, six weeks in, that Harry let Louis remove his shirt, and just lay his hand on the butterfly shaped ink splayed across Harry’s upper abdomen. They figured out quickly that it was best if Harry was in control most of the time, but even then there were times where he would tense up and the mood would be lost. Louis was patient, though, and even if he was frustrated he wouldn’t show it, and would later quietly slip away to wank alone in the shower. 

 

At the end of November, Harry finally told Louis he wanted to make love. Louis had snorted at the words “make love,” but inside his abdomen it felt like he possessed a butterfly of his own. The first time they tried, it failed miserably as Harry panicked before they got very far at all. The second time, Louis gave him small words of gentle encouragement and it was a success, even if they both came much too fast. The third time had been a little longer, and lot easier, and every time after that just got better than the time before. They hoped someday that Harry would be comfortable enough for Louis to penetrate him too, but if it never happened, Louis could live with that. He just wanted Harry next to him during the day and wrapped in his arms at night. Anything beyond that he considered a bonus.

 

The reserve was thriving under Liam’s direction. He was a quick learner and Harry was barely needed to guide him by the mid-autumn. Louis was still working as the communications director and was doing a pretty good job of it, but he longed to be out in the wild with a camera again. The reserve’s story had made international headlines and Hulu, the streaming service, offered him a deal for a ten episode children’s educational series about native species of the United Kingdom. Most of the episodes would film at Norfolk Wildlife Reserve, with a couple in other locations. He took the offer immediately and was excited to start filming in the spring. Plans were also in place for his official coming out. He wanted to do it on his terms and he decided, along with Harry, that they would do it on Valentine’s Day, by instagraming a couple’s picture with a clever, yet obvious, hashtag: #LOVEALWAYSWINS

 

Harry was due to start working on his PhD in August, which would split his time between Fallham and London. He planned to work part-time at the reserve during that time, and Louis knew it would be a challenge for their relationship with distance involved, but he didn’t doubt their ability to get through it. Harry had also started giving some guided tours at the reserve as suggested by Dr. Singh. He started with groups of children, something he actually excelled at as Louis learned how much his boyfriend adorably loved tots, and worked his way up to adults, which was more of a challenge. 

 

Gemma did not find true love with Michael. Alas, as soon as the summer ended, so had their whirlwind romance. She did, however, meet a nice Japanese landscape architect, named Kaito, who Harry made sure to size up before giving his not-required-but-somewhat-appreciated approval. So far, two months in, things were going well.

 

Jeff and Glenne were newly engaged and still working hard at the reserve. Everyone was thrilled and threw them an engagement party at Potter’s Pub.

 

Niall was still the proud owner of the pub, but now was an officially divorced one. He spent three months trying to track down his estranged wife to serve her divorce papers. Thankfully, she signed them without argument. She wanted nothing from the marriage that she hadn’t already taken. While everyone could detect a hint of sadness in Niall during that time, he and Vanessa were still going strong, and she was beginning to fit into their group like she had been there from the start.

 

Liam and Zayn, with Liam’s promotion, were finally able to do something they had long dreamed of doing. In the late spring they would be first time parents via Liam’s oldest sister who volunteered to be their surrogate. They threw a party the first weekend of December and surprised everyone with the news. Harry was especially excited to be an uncle, and Louis would be lying if he said he wasn’t thrilled too. For the first time, they talked about having children of their own someday, and that was something neither Harry, nor Louis, had ever imagined having until they found one another.

 

Louis was temporarily living with Niall, but with his London home on the market, was searching for a new home to purchase nearby. He had dreams of a large home in the country, with a huge garden, and a bunch of pets, although he wasn’t sure he’d be able to steal Luna away from Niall now that the two had bonded and often shared a bed at night. He imagined Harry leaning with his back against a tree in their garden, playing silly songs on his guitar for their future children, and for Louis, who for the first time since his own childhood, was truly happy. Gone were the days of lies and deceit. Now, he was just Louis again, and if his film making career died tomorrow, and his fame disappeared, he would survive, because having the ability to just be himself was a far greater reward than fame or fortune.

 

“Play me a song,” Louis asked. “Just one before we have to get ready for work.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “You’re so needy.”

 

“Shut up and just do it,” Louis teased.

 

“Tsk tsk,” Harry wagged his finger at him, but got up anyway, slid on his pants, and retrieved his guitar before sitting back down on the bed, facing Louis.

 

“What are you playing for me today, love?” Louis asked. He loved when Harry sang and played guitar for him. It had taken a few months (and a few drinks) to get him to give in the first time, but as of lately it had become somewhat routine. Harry was, in fact, a rather talented musician.

 

“It’s a new song that I wrote,” Harry replied. Louis detected a hint of insecurity behind the sea colored eyes looking back at him. 

 

“Oh? What’s it about?” He reached out and grazed Harry’s knee with his fingertips.

 

Harry smiled.

 

“You.”

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to [kassio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kassio/pseuds/kassio) for your awesome beta skills and for volunteering to help me out last minute!
> 
> Thanks also to the HL Summer Exchange 2017 creators/moderators for your patience with me being slow to finish this fic. You are awesome and I can't wait to sit and read all of the wonderful fics that this exchange has surely produced!
> 
> Norfolk Wildlife Reserve in this story is entirely fictional, and in no way am I associated with any UK reserve, or an expert in how real reserves function day-to-day, however, for anyone interested in donating to any of the UK's nature reserves/Wildlife Trusts, click [here](http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/appeals).


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